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Writing Samples
Band 3

In many countries, teenagers are encouraged to do part-time jobs. What’s the situation like in your country? What do you think are the advantages and disadvantages of doing part-time jobs?

#countries #teenagers #jobs #what’s #situation #country
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It is true that nowadays in foreign countries
teenagers
Use synonyms
 are encouraged to do part-time jobs. But in our
country
Use synonyms
, it is not like that. In my following essay, I will discuss
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 and disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 issue. In fact, there is no
such
Linking Words
 thing in my
country
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. Because in my
country
Use synonyms
 the government cannot even employ adults.
Therefore
Linking Words
, in my
country
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teenagers
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 study and when they
enroll
Change the spelling
enrol
show examples
 to
university
Add an article
a university
show examples
 and get
diploma
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a diploma
show examples
 after
that
Add a comma
,that
show examples
 they start working, and
teenagers
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 who could not get diploma will go to Russia. On the one hand,
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
 part-time jobs is good. Because poor residents need finance for living exactly in
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
 and other developed countries. And students must pay for study contract and they have to work for
this
Linking Words
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, part-time job completion is good for some people. As far as I am concerned, I did not see disadvantages of
this
Linking Words
 statement because doing
part-time
Correct article usage
a part-time
show examples
 job has only good sides.
For instance
Linking Words
,
person
Add an article
the person
a person
show examples
 who works every day can earn money for his family and that person is considered to be the best person because he is sacrificing his time for his family, it is better than sitting in the street and asking for alms. From my point of view, the
teenagers
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 of other countries, namely
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 do part-time jobs are lucky, because they can earn finance for what they want to buy or do. It follows that
advantages
Correct article usage
the advantages
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 statement outweigh the disadvantages. (
Bobur
Correct your spelling
Bob
)
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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