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Band 4

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #advertisements #children #snacks #toys #goods #parents #ads
Social media that contain
advertisements
 become a huge impact
to
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on
show examples
 uneducated society who are in the vulnerable segment. I will discuss both
view
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views
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on
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in
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this
 essay. While there is no doubt that inappropriate content is leading to bad
behavior
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behaviour
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, I totally agree with
this
 statement. An
agrument
Correct your spelling
argument
 in
favor
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favour
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 of some
advertisements
 have inappropriate contents that mislead children
to
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in
show examples
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 ways.
This
 is because it persuade them to consume bad products
such
 as colourful candy or cartoon shape of
cookie
Add an article
the cookie
a cookie
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 so, it
result
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results
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to
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in
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 bad health
in
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at
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 younger age. Another objection is that they are too fragile to
recieve
Correct your spelling
receive
 sensitive
contents
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content
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 so
that
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apply
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they could behave badly by following social media.
This problems
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This problem
These problems
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 could lead to the worst result.
For instance
, they could commit a crime with innocent thought referring to
reserch
Correct your spelling
research
 conducted by
government
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the government
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 in Thailand in 2022
Although
 some people argue that creative
advertisements
 could cause bad things to kids, we should consider that it is
parent
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parents
show examples
 obligation to educate their children.
In addition
, they should be able to guide and lead them to the right way by giving them clear explanations of
those advertisement
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that advertisement
those advertisements
show examples
.
This
 situation is made better because they will have
plently
Correct your spelling
plenty
 good experience which
discourage
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discourages
show examples
 them from unhealthy food, unnecessary goods and bad
stuffs
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stuff
kinds of stuff
pieces of stuff
show examples
. In short,
many
Correct your spelling
any
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kind
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kinds
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 of
advertisements
cause
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causes
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 serious problems that affect to
specific
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a specific
show examples
 group of people in
term
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terms
show examples
 of social issues and well-being. If we ban
inappropiate
Correct your spelling
inappropriate
contents
Fix the agreement mistake
content
show examples
,
childrend
Correct your spelling
children
 would be
more safe
Replace the words
safer
show examples
 and solve some difficult situations.
Submitted by parupatp on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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