People who cause their own illnesses through unhealthy lifestyles and poor diets should have to pay more for health care. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?
Nowadays, individuals usually live unhealthily, and do not pay attention to their diets leads to illness, so
this
is a reason that people have to spend lots of money on health care. Personally, I partly agree with Linking Words
this
opinion, and I will explore the reasons in Linking Words
this
essay.
The main reason for Linking Words
this
argument is people who do not care about their healthy lifestyle can lead them to have more illnesses. Linking Words
Therefore
, they must usually go to the hospital or Linking Words
healthcare
clinic to check their health, which makes them spend lots of money on those services. Use synonyms
Furthermore
, if individuals are in serious cases, they will need some expensive medicine or equipment to help them survive. Linking Words
For instance
, some victims live in poor Linking Words
countries
that do not have enough equipment to treat their ill, so they must purchase to go to other Use synonyms
countries
to have that type of equipment.
Use synonyms
On the other hand
, there are many developed Linking Words
countries
that will have free Use synonyms
healthcare
, so individuals who live in those Use synonyms
countries
won't pay any fee for their illnesses. Use synonyms
Therefore
, victims only need to have a Linking Words
healthcare
card, and they can go to any hospital or Use synonyms
healthcare
clinic which do not purchase any fee, they are all free. Use synonyms
For instance
, Canadian citizens who live in their country do not need to pay any fee for treatment, they have everything free from Linking Words
healthcare
.
In conclusion, people who have illnesses from unhealthy lifestyles usually come to medical places to treat their health and must pay lots of money. But with Use synonyms
countries
, they do not need to pay anything for their treatment.Use synonyms
htram1626
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider providing a clearer thesis statement in your introduction that outlines your main points more explicitly.
coherence and cohesion
Work on using more cohesive devices and linking phrases to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure to diversify your vocabulary and grammar structures to enhance clarity and avoid repetition.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task and presents your viewpoint effectively, showing a balanced perspective.
task achievement
You provided examples to support your points, particularly when discussing healthcare in developing versus developed countries.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite