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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Government should spend more money on medical research and less on researching the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays, it is true that the
government
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 spends a lot of financial resources on medical
research
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instead
Linking Words
 of
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
research
Use synonyms
.
However
Linking Words
, I am of the opinion that
environment
Use synonyms
research
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 should
been
Change the verb form
be
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 paid more than medical
research
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 and I will try to explain my opinion in my essay.
Firstly
Linking Words
, both of the researches depend on each other and if the plant in
Use synonyms
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 dies,
then
Linking Words
 there will not be
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of medical
research
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 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
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most of
medicine
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 is prepared from plants.
Secondly
Linking Words
, if we harm the
environment
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,
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
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 will be very bad because the chain of life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
planet
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 depends on
state
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the state
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 of
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environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and if the
environment
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 is harmed, all alive creatures will die.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, if the
environment
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 will be harmed or destroyed,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
planet
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 cataclysms will begin,
for instance
Linking Words
, earthquakes may occur and
sun
Correct article usage
the sun
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 may burn our
planet
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 or there may be an extinction of life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
planet
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. We
also
Linking Words
 should protect our
environment
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 by planting trees, throwing trash in the trash cans and doing everything in our power.
However
Linking Words
, while environmental
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 should be allocated more funds,
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
also
Linking Words
 donate
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 medical
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 because in 21 century we have a lot of diseases and for healing these diseases,
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government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the development of
medicine
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.
For example
Linking Words
, if
medicine
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 does not develop, humanity will have big problems in the face of cancer, HIV infection, diabetes mellitus and, especially, COVID-19. To avoid these problems the
government
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 should develop
medicine
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. To conclude, I would agree that the
government
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 should donate more
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
Use synonyms
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
research
Use synonyms
 than medical
research
Use synonyms
 but
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should not forget about medical development, too.

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