IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Government should spend more money on medical research and less on researching the environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#government #money #research #environment
Nowadays, it is true that the
government
 spends a lot of financial resources on medical
research
instead
 of
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
research
.
However
, I am of the opinion that
environment
research
 should
been
Change the verb form
be
show examples
 paid more than medical
research
 and I will try to explain my opinion in my essay.
Firstly
, both of the researches depend on each other and if the plant in
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 dies,
then
 there will not be
use
Add an article
the use
show examples
 of medical
research
 because
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
most of
medicine
 is prepared from plants.
Secondly
, if we harm the
environment
,
consequences
Correct article usage
the consequences
show examples
 will be very bad because the chain of life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
planet
 depends on
state
Add an article
the state
show examples
 of
environment
Add an article
the environment
show examples
 and if the
environment
 is harmed, all alive creatures will die.
Thirdly
, if the
environment
 will be harmed or destroyed,
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
planet
 cataclysms will begin,
for instance
, earthquakes may occur and
sun
Correct article usage
the sun
show examples
 may burn our
planet
 or there may be an extinction of life
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 our
planet
. We
also
 should protect our
environment
 by planting trees, throwing trash in the trash cans and doing everything in our power.
However
, while environmental
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 should be allocated more funds,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should
also
 donate
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 medical
researches
Fix the agreement mistake
research
show examples
 because in 21 century we have a lot of diseases and for healing these diseases,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the development of
medicine
.
For example
, if
medicine
 does not develop, humanity will have big problems in the face of cancer, HIV infection, diabetes mellitus and, especially, COVID-19. To avoid these problems the
government
 should develop
medicine
. To conclude, I would agree that the
government
 should donate more
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
research
 than medical
research
 but
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should not forget about medical development, too.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: