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Band 2.5

Many adults do very little exercise. Some people believe that showing sporting events like Olympics and world cup will encourage adults to exercise more. Others think there are better ways to encourage adults do exercise. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#adults #exercise #people #events #olympics #world #cup
Most adults have no
time
 and do little
exercises
Fix the agreement mistake
exercise
show examples
 today. Many think that if TV shows sports like
world
cup
 will make them
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
exercise
 and some think adults can be encouraged to by
other method
Change the wording
another method
other methods
show examples
. I will discuss both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views and provide my opinion.
Firstly
, life is busy and
people
 have no
time
 to think of exercises.
People
 have
tight
Correct article usage
a tight
show examples
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
work load
Correct your spelling
workload
show examples
 and life is hard and busy
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
 when they get
time
Add an article
the time
show examples
 they like to watch things on Tv for relaxation like
watch
Replace the word
watching
show examples
 web series or movies or even
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
cup
. But watching
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
cup
 can not make
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
show examples
to
Change the verb form
apply
show examples
do
exercise
. On the other side, there can be other ways to make
people
exercise
. If
office
Add an article
the office
an office
show examples
 has a gym in the location and
inform
Change the verb form
informs
show examples
 staff to
exercise
 during office hours for
half hour
Add a hyphen
half-hour
show examples
 can make
people
 take a break and
exercise
.
Also
, small companies can get somebody to speak about how good
exercise
 is and how it can help
people
 take care of
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 weight problems. In total, many
people
 love to watch sports like
Olympics
Correct article usage
the Olympics
show examples
 or
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
cup
 but only some
people
 go and
exercise
 after watching. Even if they do
its
Replace the word
it's
it is
show examples
 only for some
time
. But, if organisation encourage
people
 and use some office
time
 to take a break to work out
may be
Correct your spelling
maybe
show examples
 a good way in my opinion.
Submitted by Toni R on

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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