Some academics say that every child should be taught to play an instrument. Do you agree or disagree with statement?

It is often said that teaching an instrument should be increased in educational centres and all children should learn it. From my point of view ,I strongly agree with
this
idea. I
also
believe that
this
decision should be
performed
Verb problem
made
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as soon as possible.
Firstly
, one of the main reasons for
this
argument is the power of playing instruments in human brains.
For example
,playing a kind of musical instrument could reinforce some activities that need to exert the energy of our brains
such
as learning difficult subjects (science or maths).
This
could create a suitable space to learn these courses constructively and the brain commences working hard.
This
is a conspicuous and persuasive reason to accept
this
positive operation.
Therefore
,
this
makes it clear why playing
these
Change preposition
with these
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gadgets should be encouraged and increased in school.
Secondly
,another reason is ,
playing
Correct word choice
that playing
show examples
instruments is a type of art. There is no denying that art can be useful in
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
lifestyles and change something.
For instance
,playing the guitar and the piano could change
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
beliefs because art can transform traditional thoughts into modern beliefs.
This
could help a child to merge into living in
today
Change noun form
today's
show examples
modern world.
Additionally
,
this
operation would open doors to think and solve problems effortlessly because of becoming down_to_earth.
As a result
,it becomes apparent there are multiple reasons behind each claim via societies that we can not ignore. All things considered ,I completely agree with
this
idea that academics habitually reflect on. It is predicted that to increase playing instruments children will become smarter and human brains will be more powerful.
Submitted by maede.sadeghi8520 on

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task response
Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. Develop your ideas further to enhance clarity and comprehensiveness. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion fully address the topic and summarize your main points effectively.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by using transitional phrases to connect ideas more effectively. Ensure that each paragraph is well-organized and focuses on a single main point.
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