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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some countries spend a lot of money on making it easier to use bicycles in cities, why? Is this the best way to solve traffic problems?

#countries #money #bicycles #cities #traffic
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One of the major civic
issue
Change to a plural noun
issues
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 in all the developed cities of the world is
traffic
Add an article
a traffic
the traffic
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jam
Fix the agreement mistake
jams
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. City planners and corporations are trying to resolve the problem by spending ample
money
Use synonyms
 on creating infrastructure for bicycles and promoting it heavily among the masses. Only time will tell, whether the
money
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 spent will resolve the problem or waste
Correct your spelling
taxpayers
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tax payers
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taxpayers
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hard earned
Add a hyphen
hard-earned
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money
Use synonyms
. With the population explosion and increase in purchase capacity of the urban residents, vehicle jam is a common scenario. People want to travel from one place to another quickly and effortlessly, which is easily possible with other modes of transport
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 while riding
cycle
Correct article usage
a cycle
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 requires
lot
Change the article
a lot
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 of strength and stamina for
longer
Replace the word
long
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distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
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. Sitting in
car
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a car
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 or public transport and moving is very comfortable, which is not the case with the cycles. Bicycles are known for being
an
Change the article
a
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 healthy alternative for the riders and
doesnot
Correct your spelling
does not
doesn't
 create any kind of pollution. After creating
separate
Add an article
a separate
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 lane, a bicycle takes very
less
Correct quantifier usage
little
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 space to ride on the roads. Many nations allocate
high
Add an article
a high
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 amount of budget for creating
such
Linking Words
 lanes, but the use of bicycles
are
Change the verb form
is
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 very less among its citizens, henceforth more
money
Use synonyms
 is spent on advertisements to lure citizens to ride the bike
instead
Linking Words
 of other means of transportation. There is
huge
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a huge
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 debate going amongst key
personnels
Correct your spelling
personnel
 and
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stakeholders
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stake holders
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stakeholders
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 of municipal corporations on the Return of Investment for the budget spent on the alternative modes of travelling. While cycles are getting popular and used on weekends to roam around, everyday usage of
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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 is yet to be seen globally.
Traffic
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The traffic
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 problem is only worsening day after day and developed countries have to find an effective solution for it.
Submitted by zankrut on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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