Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar.Do you agree or disagree?
People
think that some of food
, which are made by the manufacture, Add an article
the food
are
Change the verb form
is
containing
of Wrong verb form
contain
much
sugar which affects our body health so it should be sold more pricey in order to acknowledge Correct quantifier usage
apply
people
to eat less sugar. In my point of view, I absolutely disagree with this
statement because it will affect poor people
and also
everybody needs to take care themselves
Change preposition
of themselves
by
on Change preposition
apply
her
own.
Correct pronoun usage
their
First
of all, not all of Correct article usage
the nation
nation
in Fix the agreement mistake
nations
this
country are rich people
. There are also
individuals who have a minimum wage or even lower than the standard. If the manufactured food
is sold with
Change preposition
at
more
expensive price, it makes them burdened and even Correct article usage
a more
more
they will not have enough nutrition of Add a comma
,more
food
. For example
, I have a neighbor
who Change the spelling
neighbour
collect
plastic bottles Change the verb form
collects
everyday
to earn money for Replace the word
every day
food
. He sometimes buys food
from Add an article
the convenient
a convenient
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
store
which Fix the agreement mistake
stores
are
included in instant Change the verb form
is
food
. I cannot imagine how sad he is when the price of that food
will be raised.
In addition
, people
need to aware
of themselves about taking Add a missing verb
be aware
food
inside their body. They must understand that they are the controller of their own risk. For instance
, I everyday
write down any Replace the word
every day
food
that I have
Add the particle
tohave
eat
on that day in order to know how Wrong verb form
eaten
much
calories Correct quantifier usage
many
that
I have Correct word choice
apply
consume
. It looks Change the verb form
consumed
like
very hard to do but we need to sacrifice to achieve a good thing.
In conclusion, Change preposition
apply
the
instant foods which contain high levels of sugar are no need to make it more expensive because it will burden poor Correct article usage
apply
people
and also
everybody need
to take care of her own health.Change the verb form
needs
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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite