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Writing Samples
Band 4

Some children receive almost no encouragement from their parents regarding their performance at school, while other children receive too much pressure from their over- enthusiastic parents which can have a negative impact on the child. Why do you think some parents put too much pressure on their children to perform well at school? What do you think the role of a parent should be in their child's education?

#children #encouragement #parents #performance #school #pressure #over- #impact #child #role #parent #education
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We know that every people need encouragement during their life
especially
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,especially
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school
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 years. But some
parents
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 can not encourage their
children
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 and give
pressure
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.
As a
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result
Add a comma
,result
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children
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 have a negative effect
from
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on
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 their
parents
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. Most
parents
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 think that putting too much
pressure
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to
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on
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 their
children
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 show well at
school
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.But I think that it is not
correct
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the correct
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 idea. Because
Children
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 need
a
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apply
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bid support and encouragement at their
school
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 and
education
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. If
children
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 can not take attention
by
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to
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 their
parents
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 ,
this
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 may impact
to
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apply
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their studies. Absolutely, we can say
children
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's
education
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 and
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behavior
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behaviour
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is depend
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depend
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 on parent's attitude to their
children
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. Our encouragement gives
to
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apply
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our
children
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 confidence.
Therefore
Linking Words
 they can reach their aims. On the other side, some
children
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 need
pressure
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. Because their family atmosphere
require
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requires
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this
Linking Words
 attitude.
That is
Linking Words
Add an article
the way
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Correct your spelling
why
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way
Correct your spelling
why
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 some
children
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 need
strict
Correct article usage
a strict
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 attitude
by
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from
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 their
parents
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 during their
school
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education
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. interactions bad influence them
maght
Correct your spelling
might
 change their moral and studies.
This
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 method is frequently used
bad
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,bad
show examples
Use synonyms
behavior
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behaviour
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children
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. So it
is belong
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belongs
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 to
children
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's
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behavior
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behaviour
show examples
 In conclusion, I think that in
education
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 every
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parents
Change to a singular noun
parent
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 have a great role for their
children
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. Because
parents
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 should give
a
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apply
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support not
pressure
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 to their
children
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 when they need
a
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apply
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help.
By
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In
show examples
this
Linking Words
way
Add a comma
,way
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 we can gain our intention by seeing our
children
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's achievements. Oppositely, if we limit our
children
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, their studies and
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behavior
Change the spelling
behaviour
show examples
 may change bad side. That's
Correct your spelling
why
show examples
way
Correct your spelling
why
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, we should focus on our
children
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 when they
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
 at
school
Use synonyms
.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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