Nowadays technology is increasingly being used to monitor what people are saying and doing (for example, through cell phone tracking and security cameras). In many cases, the people being monitored are unaware that this is happening. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
Hi-tech is used in some daily devices to monitor
people
’s behaviours. Some of them believe that being monitored is invaded citizen’s privacy, while
others think it can bring lots of benefits. I think this
is a favourable situation in the long term, and I will give some arguments to support my view in the essay.
Companies use big-data analysis to figure out their preferences in different areas, which makes people
accessible
to purchase what they need. Correct word choice
able
For instance
, the shopping platform will push items
they may like based on their browsing history. Often before people
have selected their target items
, the system will send them the most suitable items
based on their shopping preferences. This
technique saves people
time selecting items
and prevents them from buying other products they do not need while
browsing the site. Most importantly, because of the contractual restrictions, the data will not be used for other purposes and, therefore
, will not result in personal information leakage.
Furthermore
, under monitoring, authorities such
as the police can get electronic evidence to protect people
’s lives and property rights more easily. Cyber police, as
Change preposition
for
an
example, prevent crimes by monitoring potential criminals’ phone tracking. When other Correct article usage
apply
people
receive a phone call from those hidden lawbreakers, they will contact their victims immediately to keep them away from scams. This
technology is applied to prosecutors and lawyers as well to obtain evidence of difficult-to-obtain crimes, with the permission of the court, thus
allowing for more breakthroughs in the suspect case.
In conclusion, I reiterate my firm belief that corporations and governments using new technologies to monitor people
’s information can have long-term benefits, not only in terms of making people
’s lives easier but also
in terms of crime prevention.Submitted by baozilyn on
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Task Response
Provide a clear and specific response to the essay question. Ensure that your viewpoint is clearly stated and developed throughout the essay.
Coherence and Cohesion
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Lexical Resource
Utilize a wider range of vocabulary and demonstrate more precise and nuanced word choices throughout the essay. Avoid repetition and aim for more variation in language use.
Grammatical Range
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