IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think the government should be responsible for solving the pollution problem which results from heavy traffic. To what extent you agree?

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Certain individuals believe that the authorities are supposed to be accountable for tackling the emission problem
due to
Linking Words
 the intensive congestion. I absolutely agree with
this
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 statement because it is one of the most relevant problems nowadays which demands taking action. So, some of the points of view will be considered below. First of all, the authority should be in charge because it gets citizens’ money, the taxes to be specific, for resolving issues like that. Fortunately, the world is developing fast and scientists have already suggested quite a few ideas for tackling the problem of air pollution. To illustrate,
according to
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a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
research
of
Change preposition
by
show examples
 Pathways, it is possible to reduce atmospheric emissions
up
Correct word choice
by up
show examples
 to 80% provided drivers use gas
instead
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 of petrol.
Thus
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,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
state institutions should implement
such
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 suggestions more actively.
Furthermore
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, it will lead to decreasing air pollution.
Besides
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, it is not a secret that people need to quit using fossil fuels as soon as possible in order to save our planet.
Moreover
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, the authority is aware of the possibilities of using alternative kinds of fuels
such
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 as electricity. What is more, it is
getting
Verb problem
becoming
show examples
 increasingly common in developed countries.
However
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, the administration in Russia should definitely pay more attention to taking over
this
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 experience.
For instance
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,
according to
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 a study, there are approximately 20 electricity stations all over the Russian Federation where a driver
could
Wrong verb form
can
show examples
 charge a vehicle. Needless to say, it is very few for
such
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 a large country, let alone the high cost of electric cars. So, it is crucial the government encourages individuals to buy electric vehicles which cause zero carbon dioxide.
To conclude
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, it is obvious that the administration is in charge of solving environmental issues
such
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 as atmospheric pollution. They have the power to tackle
this
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 by funding eco-companies and implementing their effective solutions.
Additionally
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, the time has come to get rid of fossil fuels and start using alternative ones which would be possible thanks to the authority's encouragement.

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task response
Task Response: The essay addresses the prompt and presents a clear opinion agreeing with the idea that the government should be responsible for solving the pollution problem caused by heavy traffic. However, the discussion lacks depth and thorough analysis of the issue. More specific examples and detailed arguments supporting the opinion could strengthen the response.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: The essay has a basic structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. While the essay is organized, the connection between ideas and paragraphs could be improved for better coherence. Transition words and phrases can help guide the reader through the argument more effectively. Additionally, the essay would benefit from more cohesive linking of ideas throughout to enhance overall coherence and cohesion.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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