Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

Technology is developing rapidly day by day. Because of that,

people

who live in one country can enjoy the cultures of all other areas without considering ages and nationality. I totally agree with

this

statement and I will discuss

further

it within

this

essay.

Music

is a universal language

which

Correct pronoun usage

that

show examples

anyone can understand without knowing the word and the exact meaning.

Music

has its own rhythm that anyone can listen

Change preposition

to.

show examples

There are different types of

music

such

as classical, Hip pop, pop, Hindi and many more. Nowadays,

music

widely

Add a missing verb

is widely

show examples

spread throughout the world by YouTube, Netflix, Face book and other Social

Medias

Fix the agreement mistake

media

show examples

without having any barriers.

For example

, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Sri

Lankans enjoy

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

Hindi

songs

which are

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

mainly

Replace the word

main

show examples

produce

Wrong verb form

produced

show examples

in India.

Furthermore

Sri

Lankan young artist Yohani De Silva became the one of

popular

Add an article

the popular

a popular

show examples

artist

Fix the agreement mistake

artists

show examples

Change preposition

apply

show examples

all over the world

Change preposition

apply

show examples

with in

Correct your spelling

within

show examples

the

Correct article usage

show examples

short time period. Most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

people

love

artist

Add an article

an artist

show examples

who sings their

favorite

Change the spelling

favourite

show examples

song without searching

their

Change preposition

for their

show examples

age or nationality.

Moreover

, listening to

music

can make a calm person. Most of the conflict was

making

Wrong verb form

made

show examples

due to difficulty in idea shearing between two cultures so,

music

is the one of

best

Add an article

the best

show examples

solution for it. For

instant

Add an article

an instant

show examples

, after the war in

Sri

Lanka, all

Sri

Lankans without thinking culture enjoy both Sinhala and Tamil

songs

Also

, aged

people

like to

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

the

songs

of children and some of

children

Add an article

the children

show examples

also

like to

listen

Add the preposition

tolisten

show examples

the old

songs

which are sung by elder

people

. So

people

like to enjoy

music

without considering

ages

Correct pronoun usage

their ages

show examples

Finally

, I personally believe that

music

is the most suitable bond to bind all the cultures and the different age’s persons together.

Submitted by nipunakane123 on Sat Feb 19 2022

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
28Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

278 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion.

In some countries, more and more people are becoming interested in finding out about the history of the house or building they live in -What are the reasons for this? -How can people research this?

In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them

Some people who have been in prison become good citizens later. Some say that these are the best people to talk to school students about the dangers of committing a crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Computers these days can translate all kinds of language with great accuracy. Hence, our children will not need to learn more languages in the future. Do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?