Some people think that the education system only focus on preparing students for employment while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #education #system #focus #students #employment #functions

According to some,

school

Add an article

the school

a school

show examples

needs to give education to children regarding

Remove the preposition

apply

show examples

grt

Correct your spelling

get

jobs after their

school

life whereas, others think that there are many other factors that are

esstional

Correct your spelling

sectional

emotional

for teenagers. I personally believe that giving the knowledge about getting

job

Add an article

a job

the job

show examples

esstional

Correct your spelling

sectional

. In the upcoming paragraphs, I will discuss these points

To begin

with, what are the benefits to giving the knowledge for employment in the schools.

First

and

Foremost

Correct your spelling

foremost

show examples

is that it will improve the countries economic condition, to

elobrate

Correct your spelling

elaborate

celebrate

it, it will help to people get

job

easily after completing the education because they already get together with the

job

conditions.

Secondly

, it will help to reduce the crime rates. After completing study people face difficulty to getting

job

thus

they follow the crime path which

dirtecly

Correct your spelling

directly

lead to robberies and murders.

On the other hand

, there are many activities that children learn in their

school

days.

Firstly

, they learn about how to work in

Remove the article

apply

show examples

team work

Correct your spelling

teamwork

show examples

because during the

school

days children have to participate in

competition

Add an article

a competition

show examples

where they learn about how to work in a team. To put it in a

nut shell

Correct your spelling

nutshell

show examples

although

school

gives them scholastic knowledge, employment

also

the

esstional

Correct your spelling

emotional

sectional

part of every people to

fulfill

Change the spelling

fulfil

show examples

their dreams

Submitted by lavish7692 on Sun Feb 20 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
15Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

208 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people think that the education system only focus on preparing students for employment while others believe it has other important functions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Fully explain your ideas

It is generally believed that some people are born with certain talents, for instance for sport or music, and others are not. However, it is sometimes claimed that any child can be taught to become a good sports person or musician. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

some people say that it is better to promote healthy lifestyles than spend so much money to treat obese people. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that hobbies need to be difficult to be enjoyable. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In the developed world, average life expectancy is increasing. What problems will this cause for individuals and society? Suggest some measures that could be taken to reduce the impact of ageing populations.

In some countries, children are becoming overweight and unhealthy. Some people believe that governments have the responsibility to solve this problem. To what extent do you agree or disagree?