IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

some people believe that the government should spend money to build new roads and trains . Others think that the government should spend money to improve the roads.

#people #government #money #roads #trains
It is indubitable that with a growing population, cities need more way of
transportation
 and there is more traffic on
roads
 and highways. Some dwellers believe that one of the best solutions to overcome
this
 predicament is that the
government
spend
Fix the infinitive
to spend
show examples
 more of its budget on the construction of
trains
 and
subways
.
On the other hand
, some
people
 think that making more
roads
 is a better remedy. In
this
 essay, I discuss both views, but as I consider, the
subways
 and
trains
 resolve
this
 problem. There are many reasons why
people
 think that more
roads
 will help
this
 situation.
First
, there are many citizens that use their own private cars.
Hence
, building the
trains
 and
subways
 will be fruitless, when
people
 need more space for driving their cars. The
second
 point is that they have
this
 idea which
trains
 and underground cost much more
money
. And the
government
 will be able to use
this
 amount of
money
 for improving education and healthcare.
In contrast
, some dwellers believe that building extra
roads
 is a minor setback. Because a vast majority of
people
such
 as students and teenagers need public
transportation
. And it is a beneficial solution because thousands of
people
 can be transported with just one vehicle.
Thus
,
this
 method is an effective way for solving traffic jams. When there is great public
transportation
 in a city,
people
 are encouraged to use them,
as a result
, amount of fossil fuels id reduced,
therefore
 the air pollution will be declined and
money
 which
government
 planed for health problems will be reduced. I personally think that if the
government
 spend more
money
 on building and developing public
transportation
 and when we have great facilities for transporting, it will be more economic and resolve the problem of heavy traffics. In conclusion,
Although
 building
trains
 and
subways
 are more costly, in the long- term it is more economical and helpful for having better infrastructures and controlling the traffic in cities.
Submitted by nibbana333 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: