Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives

#people #advertisements #products #lives

In modern societies, it becomes very common to be seen about

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advertisements. Some

people

say that advertising

encourges

Correct your spelling

encourages

us to buy things that we really do not need, others claim that advertisements

spreads

Change the verb form

spread

show examples

the info that new

products

may improve our lives.

Change preposition

From

show examples

my perspective, I agree that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

advertising

encourage

Change the verb form

encourages

show examples

us to buy

stuffs

Change the wording

stuff

kinds of stuff

pieces of stuff

show examples

but not really

need

Correct pronoun usage

itneed

show examples

. To start with, The aims of the advertisements that

people

see almost everywhere, including internet

platform

Fix the agreement mistake

platforms

show examples

, busses, big buildings, is trying to tell individuals that their

products

are the

lastest

Correct your spelling

latest

show examples

or the most advanced in their regions.

For instance

, Apple

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

, the head of the

smart phone

Correct your spelling

smartphone

show examples

industry, Apple gave the press conference , and spreading the advertisement in most countries, on TV, billboards, instant apps,

resulting

Add the preposition

inresulting

fromresulting

show examples

the exposure of their newest product with some fancy and cool

function

such

as high-resolution camera ,

therefore

young

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the young

show examples

generation

are

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show examples

crazy for it, as they can make extreme nice photos and post to instant apps for sharing with others.

However

, the

smart phone's

Correct your spelling

smartphone's

show examples

basic

function

is never changed, for making

Add an article

a call

the call

show examples

call

Fix the agreement mistake

calls

show examples

and using some applications both on private life and work.

Hence

, I personally agree that

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

some of the

ads

overweigh their own

products

function

for persuading

people

to follow on .

moreover

, there are many similar

products

called healthy manager watch,

such

as Fitbit, the

function

is monitoring the fitness, and sleeping time, etc. the companies

also

invest in

ads

to tell

people

it can promote their lives by using it.

However

, individuals can regularly visit their doctors and make

body

Add an article

a body

show examples

check and get much professional medical advice.

Consequently

, improving their own lives style under medical advice without having

this

Fitbit watch. To conclude,

There

Correct your spelling

there

show examples

are some advantages of advertising, that can tell

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society what's new recently. But I believe the final goal of

ads

is only exposure

their

Change preposition

to their

show examples

products

and increase the selling numbers to boost the company's profit. Individuals are buying some

products

ads

' influence but not really need .

Submitted by fenping.shen on Sun Feb 20 2022

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...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
23Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

encourage
persuade
manipulative
unnecessary
excessive
artificial needs
desires
consumers
oversaturation
impulse buying
financial problems
inform
educate
features
benefits
innovations
raise awareness
social issues
positive behavior
enrich
well-being

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Some people say that advertising encourages us to buy things that we really do not need. Others say that advertisements tell us about new products that may improve our lives

Your opinion

Gap between rich and poor countries. It's the responsibility of richer countries to support poorer countries while others think it's the responsibility of poorer countries. what is your opinion?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people think that museums should be enjoyable places to entertain people, while others believe that the purpose of museums is to educate. Discuss both views and give you own opinion

The food travels thousand of miles from farm to consumer. Some people think it would be better to our environment and economy if people only ate locally produced food. What extent does the advantage outweigh its disadvantage?