IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In some countries, there has been an increase in the number of advertisements which try to persuade children to buy snacks, toys, and other goods. Parents often claim that these ads are unfair. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#countries #advertisements #children #snacks #toys #goods #parents #ads
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays, more marketing strategies have been used in the media to convince
children
Use synonyms
 to purchase different products. While many
parents
Use synonyms
 believe it is inappropriate, others can see some benefits. The purpose of
this
Linking Words
 essay is to discuss both sides and I will give my opinion, which is that there are a few risks that
children
Use synonyms
 should not be exposed to. On the one hand, there are people who see positive aspects in advertisements aimed at
children
Use synonyms
. One of the reasons is that it provides useful information about releases,
such
Linking Words
 as how it works ow what it contains, where to find it and promotions.
In addition
Linking Words
, other
parents
Use synonyms
 take advantage of the opportunity to teach their
children
Use synonyms
 how to differentiate false advertisements.
For example
Linking Words
,
parents
Use synonyms
 who know fried food is unhealthy could show the
children
Use synonyms
 the consequences of eating it.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, others strongly disagree with the idea of trying to manipulate
children
Use synonyms
.
First
Linking Words
, advertisements sometimes can bring a false idea of happiness and be misleading.
For example
Linking Words
, fast food industries that give nice toys or try to attract
children
Use synonyms
 with games and make
children
Use synonyms
 believe their happiness depend on it.
Besides
Linking Words
, seeking profit, companies may try to stimulate consumerism in
children
Use synonyms
, who are not capable of making their own decisions yet and bring frustration when the
parents
Use synonyms
 cannot afford something.
For instance
Linking Words
, many developed countries already have laws to control
this
Linking Words
 as they see the risks to the development of
children
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, it is my opinion that both arguments have merits. On balance,
however
Linking Words
, I tend to believe that it would be better not to expose them to propaganda, as they cannot make decisions.
This
Linking Words
 is because it is my firm belief that companies only care about the money and
this
Linking Words
 might cause a negative impact on a child from a family with no condition to explain the truth or buy them the product.
Submitted by mariih_borges on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: