IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Some people believe that school children should not be given homework by their teachers, whereas others argue that homework plays an important role in the education of children. Discuss both of these views and give your own opinion.

#people #school #children #homework #teachers #role #education
Most individuals concur that
students
 should not be given
assignments
 by mentors; others think
homework
 is
crucial
Add an article
a crucial
show examples
 role in procuring
knowledge
Correct article usage
the knowledge
show examples
 of
pupils
.
This
 essay will focus a spotlight on both sides, along with their alternatives
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the ensuing paragraphs. Looking at the momentous aspect of
assignments
 that must be completed at school, a commendable concept is,
students
Add the comma(s)
,students
show examples
 can concentrate properly; inasmuch as, they get to attain the quiddity of studying which is they could practice more at school. In many parts of the world, Universities encourages
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
student to do
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 learning inside the campus;
conversely
,
pupils
 can not rest properly, they
always
Add a missing verb
are always
show examples
 in front of their books to complete their
assignments
.
In other words
, their learnings might not be productive because of no relaxation at all. On the antipodal view, when
students
 take the side of education,
hence
, learning from their
assignments
, they may procure profound knowledge in mastering it. In many ways, they could amass different ideas and skills in
Correct article usage
a swiftly
show examples
swiftly
Change the adverb
swift
show examples
 manner by completing any forms of
homework
; on the accounts of studies before, many teachers imparted to
theirs
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
pupils
 to practice more
assignments
 at home. Alternatively,
students
 will depend more
to
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their mentors; considering the statistics of education, most
students
 tend to
rely
Add the preposition
onrely
uponrely
show examples
 everything from their professors. As far as my preference is concerned, I concur with the idea of
homework
 is essential to the
students
; in a way that,
pupils
 will procure profound knowledge in multifarious
assignments
 for them to enhance their brain function. As an inference,
this
 essay has elicited details about both sides of the given views; along with my support with
homework
. It is better recommended for
students
 to find a way to encounter numerous
assignnments
Correct your spelling
assignments
, to obtain an exceptional mark at school
..
Replace the punctuation
.
...
show examples
Submitted by maymosqueda on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Instills discipline
  • Deepen understanding
  • Independent learning
  • Reinforcement
  • Parental involvement
  • Curriculum insight
  • Burnout
  • Student stress
  • Leisure time
  • Relevance of assignments
  • Project-based learning
  • Interactive learning
  • Individual learning styles
  • Conducive study environment
  • Homework policy
  • Balanced approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays: