IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way.

#businesses #products
In
this
 contemporary world, many
businesses
 tend to present in their advertising that their
goods
 are fresh and new for clients to use. In the following paragraphs, both
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 and negative
development
Fix the agreement mistake
developments
show examples
 of
this
 issue will be discussed in detail.
To begin
 with, using
advertisements
 to emphasize the company’s products can be advantageous for
businesses
. First of all, many
businesses
 use adverts to guarantee that their
goods
 are new and in
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good condition. To do so, customers can make sure and believe in those
businesses
 that the
goods
 they consume are fresh and new like their adverts.
For example
, the advertisement in the milk business shows that they collect bottles of fresh milk in the morning and deliver them to customers’ houses immediately.
This
 means that the clients can not be concerned about the products’ quality.
On the other hand
, putting too much advertising will become disadvantageous for those companies.
Firstly
, sometimes
businesses
 are likely to exaggerate their
goods
’ quality in
advertisements
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 can make people disappointed. Because clients have received the products which are not the same as their advertising.
Moreover
, having too much advertising can make people bored of listening and watching them since there are lots of
advertisements
.
This
 can lead to lessening
businesses
’ income. In conclusion, it is undeniable that presenting
businesses
’ products nowadays can be a positive development in guaranteeing their
goods
 to assure customers.
However
, exaggerating and putting too much in
advertisements
 can cause a negative development that makes people disappointed and bored of
advertisements
.
Submitted by unny on

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task response
Good job in addressing the advantages and disadvantages of businesses emphasizing new products in advertising. Make sure to provide a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, work on connecting ideas within and between paragraphs more smoothly.

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