IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In their advertising, businesses nowadays usually emphasize that their products are new in some way.

#businesses #products
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In
this
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 contemporary world, many
businesses
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 tend to present in their advertising that their
goods
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 are fresh and new for clients to use. In the following paragraphs, both
positive
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the positive
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 and negative
development
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developments
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 of
this
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 issue will be discussed in detail.
To begin
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 with, using
advertisements
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 to emphasize the company’s products can be advantageous for
businesses
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. First of all, many
businesses
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 use adverts to guarantee that their
goods
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 are new and in
a
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apply
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good condition. To do so, customers can make sure and believe in those
businesses
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 that the
goods
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 they consume are fresh and new like their adverts.
For example
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, the advertisement in the milk business shows that they collect bottles of fresh milk in the morning and deliver them to customers’ houses immediately.
This
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 means that the clients can not be concerned about the products’ quality.
On the other hand
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, putting too much advertising will become disadvantageous for those companies.
Firstly
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, sometimes
businesses
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 are likely to exaggerate their
goods
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’ quality in
advertisements
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that
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which
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 can make people disappointed. Because clients have received the products which are not the same as their advertising.
Moreover
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, having too much advertising can make people bored of listening and watching them since there are lots of
advertisements
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.
This
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 can lead to lessening
businesses
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’ income. In conclusion, it is undeniable that presenting
businesses
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’ products nowadays can be a positive development in guaranteeing their
goods
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 to assure customers.
However
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, exaggerating and putting too much in
advertisements
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 can cause a negative development that makes people disappointed and bored of
advertisements
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.
Submitted by unny on

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task response
Good job in addressing the advantages and disadvantages of businesses emphasizing new products in advertising. Make sure to provide a balanced view on the topic.
coherence cohesion
The essay has a clear introduction and conclusion. To improve coherence and cohesion, work on connecting ideas within and between paragraphs more smoothly.
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