There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

#crimes #year #think #death #penalty #deterrent #people #measures

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

There is

steady

Add an article

a steady

the steady

show examples

increase in the

amount

Change the quantifier

number

show examples

of grave crimes committed annually. Many

claim

Change to a plural noun

claims

show examples

that the most effective method to

deterrent

Add an article

a deterrent

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

death

Use synonyms

penalty

Use synonyms

Linking Words

however

Add the comma(s)

,however

show examples

some people think that there are other necessary measurements, which are considered to be taken. On the one hand, it is commonly believed that it is easier for most lawbreakers

Fix the infinitive

to accept

show examples

death

Use synonyms

as a punishment

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

than to be condemned to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

imprisonment.

In other words

Linking Words

criminal

Correct article usage

a criminal

show examples

will be murdered, which is

quite

Change the article

quite a

a quite

show examples

quick process,

moreover

Linking Words

culprit

Correct article usage

the culprit

show examples

get rid of agony and

free

Add a missing verb

is free

show examples

, whereas either being highly taxed or being a social outcast is more gravy according to some.

This

Linking Words

is exemplified by new techno-bracelets in China, which aims to control violations and create a friendly environment. Those bracelets will count all your

offence

Fix the agreement mistake

offences

show examples

and in case of having more than three or five occasions you will be taxed or banished, what is more statistics are available for all citizens of city and country generally.

As a result

Linking Words

, not only will people get used to the discipline but

also

Linking Words

will be more responsible for their own behaviour. (?)

On the other hand

Linking Words

, knowing that

Use synonyms

death

Correct article usage

the death

show examples

penalty

Use synonyms

is your future if you

brake

Correct your spelling

break

show examples

a serious law, could prevent

from

Change preposition

apply

show examples

crime and throw the balance in favour of

socially

Correct article usage

a socially

show examples

safe environment. For many positions, there are lots

off

Replace the word

show examples

occasions, when ex-prisoners act violently again and,

therefore

Linking Words

, escape

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

jail by paying fees. While

Use synonyms

death

Correct article usage

the death

show examples

penalty

Use synonyms

won’t let it happen

(?)

Add an article

a (?) second

show examples

second

Linking Words

time. In conclusion, it could be argued that

Use synonyms

death

Correct article usage

the death

show examples

penalty

Use synonyms

is the right way to prevent

increasing

Change the article

an increasing

the increasing

show examples

number of crimes,

however

Linking Words

, there are other options

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

taxes or

exiliotion

Correct your spelling

exhibition

(?), which are convenient too.

Submitted by adina.sagatbekova on Mon Feb 21 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
26
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

279 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

deterrent
recidivism
rehabilitation
ethical considerations
economic factors
social factors
community policing
public opinion
recidivism rates
community-driven initiatives
modern policing methods
death penalty
serious crimes
crime rates

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
More and more women are now going out to work and some women are now the major salary earner in the family. What are the causes of this, and what effect is this having on families and society?
Nowadays, as females enter the business world, it is seen that many of their peers get the highest fee in their group. The social reasons and aspects of this are the subject of research. In this article, I will discuss all these.
6
band
Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?
Pollution is a serious global problem although that which is caused by traffic is one which can be tackled. I would agree that the primary way of doing this would be to invest in the public transport infrastructure. However, there are also other ways.
6
band
Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?
The internet's content is considered inappropriate by a part of the population. Some people think that control of these contents by the government is the only option available. This essay agrees only to an extent with the former idea. The government should not censor the content because people might consider that action unethical.
8
band
You work for an international company. You have seen an advertisement for a training course which will useful for your job. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter Describe the training course you want to do Explain what the company could do to help you Say how the course will be useful for your job
Hope this letter finds you well,I am writing to request your confirmation to attend a workshop which benefits both my career and your holding
7
band
To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it's important to do so? What will be the effect if children are not taught history?
Some people claim that learning history brings children few benefits and it is not useful knowledge these days. This essay demonstrates firstly, the main reasons why this opinion is not true followed by an analysis of how the lack of historical knowledge will affect the outlook of children.

There seems to be an increasing number of serious crimes committed each year. While some think the best way is to use the death penalty as a deterrent, many people believe that other measures will be needed. Discuss both sides.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

More and more women are now going out to work and some women are now the major salary earner in the family. What are the causes of this, and what effect is this having on families and society?

Both government investment in public transport systems and reductions in public transport ticket prices will help to reduce transport pollution greatly. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people say that there is too much harmful content on the internet. They say the only way to make the internet safe is for the government to censor the content of websites. To what extent do you think the government should control what information is available on the internet?

To some people studying the past has little value in the modern world. Why do you think it's important to do so? What will be the effect if children are not taught history?