At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

#time #population #countries #adults #people

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Nowadays, in some countries, the population of young adults have a relatively large number while older

people

Use synonyms

are rarely at the same time. I completely think

this

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phenomenon has more advantages than its disadvantages for the following reasons.

Firstly

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, young

people

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could contribute more power, knowledge and intelligence in various industries

compare

Wrong verb form

compared

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Correct article usage

the elder

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elder

Fix the agreement mistake

elders

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This

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is significant for the development of a

country

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For example

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, in China, many young students have the experience of studying abroad in another

country

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compared to the

last

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generation. Youth not just know new technology and academics, but

also

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have the ability to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

build up

Add a hyphen

build-up

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many new systems and opportunities for different working businesses and results to good economic.

Thus

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, the evolution of a population of young adults definitely is a good thing for

country

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evolvement.

Secondly

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, young individuals have the capacity to help elder care and children

education

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This

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also

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an extremely important main strength to our society.

For instance

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, the young individuals demographic are a critical labour force for the public. They could have an effect on how to make good elder

people

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care system and how to educate our

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generation, thereby valuing our community.

Thirdly

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however

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, how to allocate young

people

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in their right workplace and develop their value for society

also

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is an important issue that government should consider

about

Change preposition

apply

show examples

For example

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, there are still

much

Change the quantifier

many

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youths, even though they have good

education

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careers, but they couldn’t find a job.

On the other hand

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also

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many young

people

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that couldn’t have a good

education

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might have a percentage in getting into a criminal.

Thus

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, the government should contribute good guidance on young

people

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that is

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responsibility. To sum up, I think the population of some countries that have a large number of young adults, due to their good

education

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, they will contribute various industries and develop our

country

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In addition

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, they

also

Linking Words

are an important labour force to our society.

Nevertheless

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, the government should think about how to guide young

people

Use synonyms

that make youth source carry out the value.

Submitted by littlekongmy on Tue Feb 22 2022

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

341 words

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Your opinion

Your Friend wants to send his/her children to your house for the weekend. Write a letter to him/her and say: - Agree to this arrangement - Say what time is suitable for you - Describe what are you planning to do

nowdays the way many people interact with each other has changed because of technology. in what ways has technology afftected the types of relationships people make? has this become a positive or nagative development?

Charities and organizations always give special names to particular days such as 'National Children's Day' and 'National Non-smoking Day'. What are the causes of these particular days? How effective are they?

The government should be responsible for providing retirees with financial support and care. While many people think that citizens should save money to take care of themselves when they are old. Discuss both views and give your opinion

Over-fishing of the world's oceans threatens many species with extinction and is putting the livelihood of millions of people around the world at risk. What are the causes of this problem and what can be done to prevent it from happening?