IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

More and more couples are deciding to be "child-free", to have no children, in other words. Some people claim that those couples reach this conclusion through entirely selfish reasons. While others think that they came to this decision through noble motives, such as concern about overpopulation and desire for independence. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Family planning is crucial to every married couple. “No kids”
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
show examples
 become more and more prevalent in society recently. Some people think that the choice of these “child-free”
couples
Use synonyms
 is selfish,
while
Linking Words
 others argue that the motives of their decision are noble. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss both views and explain why I support the latter view. On the one hand, those who argue that “no kids”
couples
Use synonyms
 are selfish might point to the personal consideration of their decision.
Firstly
Linking Words
, it requires a family a huge amount of money to raise a child. Take Hong Kong as an example, an estimation of 4 million is required for
upbringing
Verb problem
raising
show examples
 a child until he
is graduated
Wrong verb form
graduates
show examples
 from a university.
Thus
Linking Words
, it is a huge financial burden for a family.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the couple needs to spend time and effort nurturing their child.
In other words
Linking Words
, they will give up their personal time, even their career development, for the well-being of their son or daughter. In order to save money and time,
couples
Use synonyms
 may decide
to
Rephrase
not to
show examples
 have
no
Rephrase
apply
show examples
children. With
this
Linking Words
 line of thinking,
this
Linking Words
 is perhaps why certain people think a “child-free” family is selfish.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, those who do not want to have a baby may have other reasons for their choice. One of the most important factors is that overpopulation may cause environmental pollution, deforestation and climate
changes
Fix the agreement mistake
change
show examples
. All these situations will affect the well-being of mankind
,
Punctuation problem
apply
show examples
 and lead to the extinction of other animal species as
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result of the disappearance of their habitat.
For example
Linking Words
, in some Asian countries, the problem of overcrowding causes a high rate of crime and poverty.
Therefore
Linking Words
, some
couples
Use synonyms
 feel responsible for the situation and
not
Verb problem
do not
show examples
 have their children. In conclusion, both views have their own reasons to be “no kids”
couples
Use synonyms
,
Punctuation problem
;
show examples
however
Linking Words
, I believe that mitigating the overpopulation is strong support for them to be “child-free”.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

grammar and coherence
Use more plain linking words to show ideas flow. Add more clear and new examples for each point. Check small grammar mistakes like 'an estimation of 4 million' and 'graduated' to fix meaning.
conclusion
Make your conclusion stronger by restating your view clearly and briefly sum up the main ideas.
examples
Give more precise and real examples to back the point that child‑free couples save money and time, and to back the idea of overpopulation.
structure
The essay has a clear start and end with an overall view.
content
It shows both sides of the issue and gives an opinion.
coherence
It uses sign posts like On the one hand and On the other hand.
Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • voluntary childlessness
  • socio-economic factors
  • sustainable lifestyle
  • personal fulfillment
  • societal stigma
  • long-term implications
  • cultural influences
  • emotional autonomy
  • environmental sustainability
  • demographic shift
  • financial independence
  • ethical considerations
  • social consciousness
  • quality of life
  • reproductive choices
  • overpopulation concerns
  • self-actualization
  • lifestyle choice
What to do next:
Look at other essays: