IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

The most important element in a person’s life is their work. Without a satisfying career, life is meaningless. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#element #person’s #life #work #career
The basic aim of education itself is to get a good occupation. A satisfactory
job
 makes a person's
life
 worthwhile and
also
 it is a key part of everyone's future In my perspective,
this
 statement is true and I agree with it completely.
Firstly
, people study hard and get their profession completed to perform their desired career with satisfaction. Because it gives income to live
as well as
 raise their standard of living. When there is a failure to attain so, they get disappointed depressed and state that their
life
 is useless.
For instance
, many youngsters quit their
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
due to
 unsatisfactory jobs, which leads them to
involve
Wrong verb form
be involved
show examples
 in violence, addiction, robbery etc. If the career gives stress and troubles certainly it would affect an individual's psychology.
Hence
 it is crucial to have suitable employment.
Moreover
, in many workplaces, the employees are not recognised, appointed or accepted
according to
 their educational
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
.
Due to
this
, an inferiority complex is being created in them which leads
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
life
 miserable and questionable.
In addition
 to that, they will not be able to maintain a good rapport with their colleagues
due to
 their affected mental status.
For example
, if a highly qualified person is working under a person who is not well educated, it causes discrimination and difficulties in their workplace
as well as
 in their
life
.
Thus
, it is always good to have a peaceful
job
.
To sum up
, In my opinion, Completely I agree that it is crucial to have
job
 satisfaction or else
life
 seems to become empty and worthless.
Whereas
 a satisfying career provides peace of mind happiness and harmony.
Submitted by harrispradeepa on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure clear topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to guide the reader through the arguments.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaboration to support your points and enhance the clarity of your arguments.
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