IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

Some people think that instead of preventing climate change, we need to find a way to live with it. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#people #climate #change
Issues about
climate
change
 is a popular topic in debates of scientists, environmentalists or even
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
ordinary people. I strongly disagree with the idea that we have to search for methods in order to adapt to
climate
change
, I believe that averting
climate
change
 provides numerous benefits in the long run,
such
 as economic development and improvements of public
health
. Actions should be taken in order to avoid the devastating effects of
climate
change
 which in turn contributes to a country’s economic development.
For example
, most countries nowadays use renewable or clean
energy
 by replacing fossils as a main source of
energy
 in manufacturing industries and in communities as well.
This
 renewable
energy
 does not only stop the devastating effects of
climate
change
 but
also
this
new
Change the adjective
newly
show examples
 emerging sector opens up
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
show examples
opportunity
Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
show examples
 for employment and more investment.
Thus
, in
return
Add a comma
,return
show examples
this
 innovation aids in
economic
Add an article
the economic
show examples
 development of a nation.
In addition
, improvements
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 public
health
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 apparent once
action
Add an article
the action
show examples
 to cease
climate
change
 takes place. Utilizing renewable
energy
 results
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 less toxic chemicals which makes
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
cleaner air and improved water quality.
This
 significantly
reduce
Change the verb form
reduces
show examples
 rates of illness and may decrease hospitalization of individuals with existing
health
 conditions
such
 as asthma or obstructive pulmonary diseases. For that reason, it will strengthen the
health
 of each
individuals
Change to a singular noun
individual
show examples
 and will narrow
Correct article usage
the mortally
show examples
mortally
Replace the word
mortality
show examples
 rate as public
health
 is way better than it used to be. In conclusion, humans deserve a pleasant place to live
thus
,
to put
Change the verb form
putting
show examples
 a stop
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
climate
change
 is more beneficial in many ways than exploring methods in order to consider living with it.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • climate change
  • prevent
  • adaptation
  • mitigation
  • cope with
  • effects
  • shift
  • mindset
  • lifestyle
  • balance
  • invest
  • research
  • technology
  • crucial
  • education
  • awareness
What to do next:
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