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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

wheather or not someone achieve aim in their life is mostly a question of luck. do you agree or disagree?

#wheather #someone #aim #life #luck
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It is considered by the number of
people
Use synonyms
 that if a person accomplishes something in his
life
Use synonyms
, it means that individual has good fortune.
However
Linking Words
, there are
also
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 who do not believe in destiny. As per my perspective,
people
Use synonyms
 should not ignore their hard
work
Use synonyms
. There is no
such
Linking Words
 thing called
luck
Use synonyms
.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, there are a plethora of reasons due to which
people
Use synonyms
 do not consider
luck
Use synonyms
 in getting goals in
life
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
, there is almost no wealthy person in the world who would believe in
luck
Use synonyms
 because they knew that they have done an intensive amount of hard
work
Use synonyms
 to achieve what they have today. It is always hard
work
Use synonyms
which
Correct pronoun usage
that
show examples
 pays off.
Linking Words
However
Add a comma
,However
show examples
 some
people
Use synonyms
 acquire less because they
work
Use synonyms
 less hard and vice versa but some
people
Use synonyms
 call it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a Destiny.
Moreover
Linking Words
, if a person
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not do anything and just depend on
luck
Use synonyms
, thinking that he will acquire his goal one day,
that is
Linking Words
 wrong. It is apparent that he won't be getting anything without doing something.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, when
people
Use synonyms
 achieve their goal after putting
lots
Change preposition
in lots
show examples
 of
efforts
Fix the agreement mistake
effort
show examples
 but other
people
Use synonyms
 consider it
a
Remove the article
luck
a bit of luck
a stroke of luck
a piece of luck
show examples
luck
Use synonyms
such
Linking Words
 things not only put themself in disbelief but
also
Linking Words
 they discredit that
persons
Change noun form
person's
show examples
 struggle and Hardwork. On Other Side,some
people
Use synonyms
 easily achieve their ambitions without even putting
effort
Change preposition
in effort
show examples
Linking Words
for
Add the comma(s)
,for
show examples
 instance, some rich kids do not need to earn money in their
life
Use synonyms
 to obtain their desires because their ancestors have already done hard
work
Use synonyms
 for them and made them wealthy.
Moreover
Linking Words
, believing in
luck
Use synonyms
people
Use synonyms
 can become dependent and lazy.
In addition
Linking Words
, they will start adding more myths to their
life
Use synonyms
. It has
seen
Add a missing verb
been seen
show examples
 that
Replace the word
most
show examples
mostly
Correct your spelling
most
show examples
 poor countries believe in superstitions
that is
Linking Words
 why the population of
such
Linking Words
 countries are poor because they do not want to do anything in their
life
Use synonyms
 to obtain their desires they just depend upon
luck
Use synonyms
 and other beliefs. Overall I would like to already drive my opinion about
luck
Use synonyms
 that
people
Use synonyms
 do not believe in
such
Linking Words
 factors because they depend upon hard
work
Use synonyms
. Believing in
such
Linking Words
 things leads to underdevelopment and laziness.
Submitted by sidhuruinder261 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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