IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

Some government spend a lot of public fund on training people to be successful in international sporting events. Some people believe that this money should be spent on things that will benefit the general public. To what extent do you agree?

#government #fund #people #events #money #benefit
Firstly
, to be frank,
this
 statement is always a problem in my
country
, when the
government
 in my
country
 spend the state budget to build a new
sports
 facility. There are must be pros and contras here and there. As I studied Public Sector Economy course in my undergraduate study, I can say that spending state budget to support any
sports
 events rather than spending money on general public need is not breaking any rules.
However
, the
government
 in my
country
 is infamous for its corrupt behaviour.
This
 is what make citizens in my
country
 contra to the
sports
 supporting fund. There is much evidence of their corruption act. To show that, many
athletes
 and former
athletes
 in my
country
 speak their minds on how they feel injustice and inadequate. Even in public, the
government
 say that they can give their all to support
athletes
 in an international competition, but in reality, the
athletes
 still do not feel it, even the existing facilities are lacking. They suspect there is fraud in the middle of the bureaucracy. It is
also
 not a new topic. Every time, my
country
's
government
 try to build new international standard
sports
 facilities for a competition, undoubtedly,
this
 corruption behaviour always emerges to surface. The newest one is Mandalika circuit problems for the MotoGP race. I believe, the people who are contras of
government
 choice to spend their fund on supporting sport is doubtful to their
government
 because of the infamous reputation of their
government
,
likewise
 in my
country
. Overall, supporting sport means supporting the
athletes
 and the
athletes
 is part of the public too.
Hence
, it means spending a lot of public funds on training people to be successful in international sporting events will
also
 benefit the general public.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: