IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Nowadays, people believe that government should invest tax-payer's money in healthcare , others believe that money should be use in other areas . Discuss both points of view and give your opinion.

#people #government #tax-payer #money #healthcare #areas #points
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Tax is
important
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an important
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factor
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to factor
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 to improve
economic
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the economic
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 condition of the country.
In
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At
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present
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the present
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 time , some
people
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 said that
government
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 should spend their income in healthcare sectors, some individuals said that
government
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 should
be give
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be given
be giving
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 their
money
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 on
different
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a different
show examples
 factor.
Linking Words
This both
Correct pronoun usage
Both
show examples
 views will
justified
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be justified
show examples
 in
Linking Words
next
Correct article usage
the next
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 paragraph.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,If
government
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 should spend their
money
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 on healthcare so,
people
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 can get better medical treatment .
Hospital
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Hospitals
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, equipment , new technologies should
be improve
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be improved
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 so that,
docters
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doctors
 can easily recover their patient.
For example
Linking Words
 ,
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government
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the government
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 should give their
money
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 on public care section so, hospitals can know
new
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the new
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 technology and buy some new foreign equipment ,
result
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the result
a result
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 of
this
Linking Words
,
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 can treat their patient very well and added that cancer is one big
diseases
Change to a singular noun
disease
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 but in some
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
situation
Add a comma
,situation
show examples
government
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 should invest their amount on medical
people
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 can treat own big diseases.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
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government
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the government
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 should give their
money
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on
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to
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 different types of
Add an article
the area
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area
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areas
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 it involves transportation, infrastructure, education and so on.
Government
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 give their fund
on
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for
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 transportation it is better for
people
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 .
Example
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For example
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 of
this
Linking Words
, politics spent their investment on
poor
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the poor
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road
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roads
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 so that road
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
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 should
be grow
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be growing
be grown
show examples
 and
people
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 can get more modern
road
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roads
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 and other
think
Correct your spelling
thing
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 is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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traffic and accident should be decline. If
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an accident
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accident
Fix the agreement mistake
accidents
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 should be
decline
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a decline
the decline
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 ,
people
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 can travel without any fear. In conclusion, politics should spend their fund on health services so,
people
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 can get
better
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the better
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facility
Fix the agreement mistake
facilities
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of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 medical treatment and other
people
Use synonyms
 think that
the
Correct your spelling
they
show examples
 should spend their income on
other different sector
Change the wording
another different sector
other different sectors
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 it involves transportation , education , infrastructure and so on . In my opinion,
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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 should give their income on health services it is good for
healthy
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a healthy
show examples
 country.
Submitted by writingpractice233 on

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Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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