The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.

The tables below give information about sales of Fairtrade*-labelled coffee and bananas in 1999 and 2004 in five European countries.
The tables provide information about
sales
of two
fairtrade-labbelled
Correct your spelling
fairtrade-labelled
products, coffee and
bananas
in 5 European
countries
, in 1999 and 2004.Owing to data,
sales
are presented in
millions
of
euros
. It is clearly seen from the data that
between
Change preposition
among
show examples
all
european
Change the capitalization
European
show examples
countries
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
and
Switzerland
are presented
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as the most important buyers of coffee and banana, which
purchase
significantly
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
between 1999 and 2004.   To start with coffee, in 1999 there were slight variations in
sales
amongst five
countries
. The most noticeable
sales
were done to
Switzeraland
Correct your spelling
Switzerland
valuated
Correct your spelling
evaluated
show examples
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
3
millions
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
. Regarding
to
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
2004,
sales
increased slightly in Denmark, Belgium and Sweden.
Whereas
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
commerce
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
doubled in
Switzerland
, 6
Fix the agreement mistake
million
show examples
millions
Correct your spelling
million
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
euros
comparing
Wrong verb form
compared
show examples
to 3
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
in 1999 and skyrocketed in
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, 18
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
euros
more than in 1999.   In turn to
bananas
, in 1999 there were slight fluctuations in
sales
between
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
, Belgium, Sweden and Denmark. Most remarkable was
Switzerland
, the principal buyer of
bananas
, which
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
were
valueted
Correct your spelling
evaluated
valued
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
15M. In 2004, some
countries
such
as Sweden and Denmark suffered
little
Add an article
a little
show examples
decrease in
banana’s
Change noun form
banana
show examples
purchase
Fix the agreement mistake
purchases
show examples
.
On the other hand
,
countries
like
Switzerland
,
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
and Belgium
rised
Correct your spelling
raised
their
purchase
in 32M, 4,5M and 3,4M  of
euros
respectively. Being
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Switzerland
the most important in
consumption
Correct article usage
the consumption
show examples
of
bananas
both
Change preposition
in both
show examples
years.  
To sum up
, in 1999
Switzerland
was the major consumer of both products.
However
, in 2004
UK
Correct article usage
the UK
show examples
was the most important
coffee’s
Change noun form
coffee
show examples
client and
Switzerland
in
Bananas
.
Submitted by eugenia.naz12 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "such".
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words sales, bananas, countries, millions, euros, uk, switzerland, purchase, m with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: The word "presented" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "slight" was used 3 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Fairtrade sales
  • significant growth
  • trends and patterns
  • market expansion
  • sustainable consumption
  • ethical products
  • consumer awareness
  • economic impact
  • percentage increase
  • market share
  • profit margins
  • trade initiatives
  • consumer behavior
  • retail figures
  • economic indicators
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