In many countries, prison is the most common solution for crimes. However, many think that better education is the most effective way to prevent people from committing further crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#countries #prison #crimes #education #people #crime

Nowadays, the crime rate increased in many countries

such

as India,

United

Correct article usage

the United

show examples

States, Canada and Australia. People in

this

Correct determiner usage

these

show examples

countries

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

think that prison is the most common solution for crimes.

However

, many think that better education is

most

Correct article usage

the most

show examples

effective way to prevent from committing

further

crime. In my opinion, punishing

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

criminals is better than educating them.

Firstly

, the people who committed crimes need to be punished by locking

Correct pronoun usage

them in

show examples

prison for the crime they committed.

For instance

, the person who attempted robbery should be sentenced to about 3 years of jail. The person who committed a big case like murder or killing a person for money, need to be kept in jail for 10 years. If they released

this

kind of gangland in public they might attempt the same mistake again.

On the other hand

, some people believe that education can be an effective way to change gangland. Some Phycotherpist recommends that educating mob who are addicted to drugs can`t change their mentality by helping them to educated. If they are educated, they might be doing

this

illiegal

Correct your spelling

illegal

illegally

activityillegal

Correct your spelling

activity illegal

activities in a legal way.

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

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Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

185 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

crime deterrent
rehabilitative
moral understanding
punitive measures
root causes
recidivism
socioeconomic factors
deter criminals
cost-effectiveness
social integration
maintenance
construction
traditional views
productive members
knowledge

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In many countries, prison is the most common solution for crimes. However, many think that better education is the most effective way to prevent people from committing further crime. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

The percentage of overweight children in western society has increased by almost 20% in the last ten years. Discuss the causes and effects of this disturbing trend.

Smoking is a major cause of serious illness and death throughout the world today. In the interest of the public health, government should ban cigarettes and other tobacco products. To what extent do you agree or disagree?