Some people think that the teenage years are the happiest time of most people’s lives. Others think that adult life brings more happiness, in spite of greater responsibility. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some
community
Fix the agreement mistake
communities
show examples
would argue that the adolescent is considered to be the happiest in the majority of society's lives, while others say that being an adult brings more happiness even though it comes with numerous responsibilities.
Although
teenagers have
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
freedom, I believe that adult growth brings more delight as they are financially independent. On the one hand, young nation is extremely happy during their
teenage
Replace the word
teens
show examples
because they have fewer responsibilities.
That is
to say that, teenagers are not expected to earn
salary
Add an article
a salary
show examples
and pay bills for any expenses, as adults are there to fulfil these duties.
As a result
, they are free to play, study and appreciate their growth without any obligations.
For example
, all over the globe teenagers feel more content because they were not worried about anything, especially finances.
However
, I believe that adolescent is under pressure to achieve good grades in their academic years while at college.
On the other hand
, despite the fact that adulthood carries more responsibility, society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
the happiest at that time because they are not dependent on anyone for their finances.
Instead
, they are earning an income, which gives them independence. Having, a well-established career allows them to save and spend salary on things they want for themselves and their family members.
For instance
, nation around the world is happy when becoming adults because they can earn wage and purchase items they adore. I believe that a sense of power is achieved by earning property which makes
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
happy and free. In conclusion,
although
most believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
adolescent is the happiest as they are not under pressure, being an adult brings more contentment despite enormous responsibilities because society
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
financially independent.
Submitted by gorgeousnf on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: