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Band 4.5

Nowadays, parents send their children abroad for further education. At what age should they send their children abroad? What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Education is an unending process and requires no specific
age
Use synonyms
 limit. But when it is about getting admitted into a foreign institute, a child should be of
specific
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a specific
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age
Use synonyms
 and I believe it should be at least 18 years.
However
Linking Words
, there are some advantages and disadvantages of studying abroad as well. I believe 18 is the perfect
age
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 for entering into adulthood and people become able to take care of you. They can take decisions by
them
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
show examples
 at
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
, while their mental faculty
also
Linking Words
 gets an expansion and learn critical thinking. In a foreign
country
Add a comma
,country
show examples
 they will be unable to adjust and the situations may go wrong. So, it is wise to send children for foreign education when they turn 18.
Usually
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,Usually
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 students in foreign institutes learn differently and when they will travel abroad, the trip makes them familiar with newer things and
by
Change preposition
at
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 the same time is entertaining as well. The overseas trip
also
Linking Words
 helps to expand their imagination.
Secondly
Linking Words
,
language
Use synonyms
 has
great
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a great
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 influence on people’s lives and when the kids will be
into
Change preposition
in
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 a new place, they need to learn the local
language
Use synonyms
 that
also
Linking Words
 enriches their
language
Use synonyms
 skills. In fact, learning a
second
Linking Words
language
Use synonyms
 helps people in many aspects and particularly bears positive impacts on career selection.
Moreover
Linking Words
, studying abroad helps
learning
Wrong verb form
learn
show examples
 new cultures, customs, manners and those could be applied in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
practical life. Now, come back to the disadvantages. The most important drawback is excessive cost. Due to currency fluctuation, the expenses are never steady.
Linking Words
Consequently
Add a comma
,Consequently
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 the tuition fees and living costs are higher than living in the native country. Often the students have to drop out as they cannot bear all the costs.
Besides
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, adjustment with the surrounding is a great issue to consider. To take a
real life
Add a hyphen
real-life
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 example, one of my cousins, Samantha, went to
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
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last
Linking Words
 year for her study but returned home within a few weeks. She could not cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with
surrounding
Correct article usage
the surrounding
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 situations.
Age
Use synonyms
 was an important factor – she was 16
then
Linking Words
. Thereby, it is imperative to send children
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
 foreign institutes when they are adult enough (at least 18) to take their own care and simultaneously the parents must own the ability to stand against the excessive costs.

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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