IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

The internet has brought sea change in the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. what are the most serious problems linked to the internet and what solutions can you suggest?

#internet #sea #change #information
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The importance of advanced technology increases connectivity globally, provides efficiency and serves an equal amount of challenges, which has always been debatable and has now become more controversial with many people claiming that digitalization powered by internet services is hazardous,
while
Linking Words
 others reject
this
Linking Words
 notion. The substantial influence of
this
Linking Words
 trend has sparked controversy over its potential impact in recent years. In my opinion, the former proposition appears to be more rational.
This
Linking Words
 essay will
further
Linking Words
 elaborate negative effects of
this
Linking Words
 trend
along with
Linking Words
 some remedies to solve
this
Linking Words
 problem
thus
Linking Words
 will lead to a logical conclusion. There is a myriad of reasons which will
further
Linking Words
 explain
this
Linking Words
 argument but the most preponderant one stems from the fact that over-reliance on digital gadgets
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 smartphones, computers and tablets often fosters fast communication and serves as a platform for sharing and receiving information,
this
Linking Words
 accessibility stimulates curiosity and urges to keep checking messages and updates, which can distract individuals from their main goals. Another striking aspect in
this
Linking Words
 regard is that easy access to the internet hider critical thinking and problem-solving skills,
as a result
Linking Words
, users may struggle with offline research or be unable to face real-world challenges. Apart from the reasons mentioned above it can be clearly stated why many are against
this
Linking Words
 trend. Steps to deal with
this
Linking Words
 complication are many but the significant ones are not complicated but accessible and practical person should prioritise their task and disconnect their self from the network by using a feature of aeroplane mode or switch off their mobile devices.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, involvement in outdoor activities and face-to-face connection with their friends and colleagues is a key component to alleviating cognitive skills and confidence. To recapitulate,
according to
Linking Words
 the arguments aforementioned above, one can reach the conclusion that the problem of internet technology in the area of receiving and sharing can be addressed through practical measures
such
Linking Words
 as, prioritising tasks disconnecting the network and enhancing outdoor activities and traditional meetings.
Submitted by vairag4u on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

relevant specific examples
Consider providing more specific examples to illustrate the problems associated with internet use. Specific examples can strengthen your arguments and provide clarity to the reader.
logical structure
Work on the logical progression of ideas between paragraphs. Ensuring a natural flow from one point to the next can enhance the reader's understanding and engagement.
introduction conclusion present
The introduction clearly outlines the main argument and sets up the essay well. This provides a strong basis for the following discussion.
complete response
The essay identifies a clear problem related to internet use and proposes practical solutions, demonstrating a comprehensive response to the task.
introduction conclusion present
Good conclusion that summarizes the discussion effectively and relates back to the main argument, reinforcing the essay's main points.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: