YOUNG PEOPLE DO NOT SPEND THEIR HOLIDAY AND WEEKEND DOING OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES LIKE HIKING AND CLIMBING IN NATURAL ENVIRONMENT. WHY? AND HOW TO ENCOURAGE THEM TO GO OUT?

#people #holiday #weekend #activities #environment

Sports

like hiking and climbing are some of the actions that will help people to stay fit and healthy. These days young individuals prefer spending most of their time with limited physical exercise and continue living a sedentary lifestyle that may lead to serious problems.

Spending their

Verb problem

Their

show examples

leisure time must be spent wisely to live a healthy life.

This

essay will explain why

this

happens and what can be done to change it. The evolution of technology these days made a huge impact on society,particularly on children.

For instance

, gadgets are one of the main reasons why they do not have time to appreciate outdoor

sports

like biking, and swimming. Most of them tend to isolate themselves because they are exposed to online gaming and browsing multiple applications like Facebook and Instagram installed on their mobile phones. Evidently, limited extracurricular movements will lead them to unhealthy lifestyles and may cause serious effects on their physical and mental health.

According to

the latest study, obesity, diabetes, and coronary heart disease are the three major causes of being inactive. Parents should foster a healthy life for their children with discipline and support to encourage their children the importance of various

sports

by giving motivation and being a role model for them.

Furthermore

, schools, communities and government institutions have a major role in the health of these young individuals. A regular schedule of physical education at school, and community projects like tree planting are some of the interesting campaigns for them to limit their idle way of living. In conclusion, young ones have limited activities

and

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

are not interested in different active

sports

and

inappreciative

Add a missing verb

are inappreciative

show examples

of nature

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

may result in detrimental effects.

However

this

can be resolved in ways

such

parent

Replace the word

parental

show examples

motivations, regular physical education, and community projects.

Submitted by josa1328 on Thu Feb 24 2022

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task response

The essay addresses the prompt by discussing why young people do not engage in outdoor activities like hiking and climbing and provides suggestions to encourage them to do so. The points are well-developed and supported throughout the essay.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The ideas are presented in a logical order and are easy to follow. The transition between paragraphs is smooth, enhancing the coherence of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

297 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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YOUNG PEOPLE DO NOT SPEND THEIR HOLIDAY AND WEEKEND DOING OUTDOOR ACTIVITIES LIKE HIKING AND CLIMBING IN NATURAL ENVIRONMENT. WHY? AND HOW TO ENCOURAGE THEM TO GO OUT?

Fully explain your ideas

In many countries wedding are getting bigger and more expensive than the past. Is this a positive or negative development?

Some modern artists receive huge sums of money for the things they create, while others struggle to survive. Governments should take steps to resolve this unfair situation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Today more and more tourists are visiting places where conditions are difficult, such as the Sahara desert or the Antarctic. What are the benefits and disadvantages for tourists who visit such places?

More adults work from home as computer technology becomes cheaper and more accessible. Do you think it is a positive or negative development?

Some people think that governments should give financial support to creative artists such as painters and musicians. Others believe that creative artists should be funded by alternative sources. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.