IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

As the internet becomes more popular, newspapers are becoming a thing of the past. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

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Ultimately, websites are being visited more and more by all ages, and
this
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 interaction between humanity and technology has delayed the relationship with other ways of obtaining
information
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such
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 as newspapers. In
this
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 essay, I will give my opinion about why I agree based on my evidence and daily life experiences.
To begin
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 with, the
information
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 that you can access is available and you can get faster than any other media.
For instance
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, in my house, we used to be signed up to 'El Tiempo', an acknowledged journalistic newspaper, and daily we received the paper at 5:00 AM. When we hired the
internet
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 service, we obtained the same data instantaneously at any hour.
Therefore
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, the
Internet
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 offers you a wide range of break news without waiting for the physical one.
Secondly
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, some of the criteria for choosing a media is the access to populations, and the
internet
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 fosters the use of it.
For example
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, I have a relative who lives outside the city, specifically, on a farm located 30
kilometers
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kilometres
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 away, there is no access to journals because of the time and distance to arrive at the farm.
Nevertheless
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, the speed and coverture of
internet
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 services are faster,
hence
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 my uncle only had to install a good connector and, as magic, he obtained all the data he would need.
Thus
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, any person in the world can get
information
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 anywhere.
To sum up
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, how we obtain
information
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 today,
such
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 as news, is faster and widely open to anyone around the globe.
Therefore
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, newspapers are becoming a thing older and antique,
hence
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 I agree with the statement.

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task response
Your introduction effectively outlines your opinion and sets the stage for your argument. However, you could clarify your thesis slightly by stating explicitly that you believe newspapers are becoming obsolete due to the advantages of the internet.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence. The first body paragraph could benefit from explicitly stating that it discusses the speed and accessibility of information on the internet.
coherence and cohesion
Use more varied vocabulary and sentence structures to enhance readability and engagement. For instance, instead of "daily we received the paper at 5:00 AM," you could say "every morning, our newspaper was delivered promptly at 5:00 AM."
coherence and cohesion
Your essay is well-organized, with each paragraph addressing a distinct point supporting your thesis.
task response
You provided relevant and specific examples from your own experiences, which effectively illustrate your argument.
coherence and cohesion
The conclusion neatly summarizes your main points and restates your agreement with the statement, reinforcing your position effectively.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Access
  • Convenient
  • Fast
  • Expensive
  • Wider range
  • News sources
  • Perspectives
  • Readership
  • Demographics
  • Physical
  • Tangible
  • Reading experience
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