In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. Why might this be the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

Many believe having a home is essential while others think renting one is feasible too. My point of view is that

this

ideology

mainly

Add a missing verb

is mainly

show examples

due to cultural and family influences and the negative impacts of it outweigh the positive impacts. To start with, in Asia, especially Chinese societies,

majority

Correct article usage

the majority

show examples

of them would be pleasant to own their home at all

cost

Fix the agreement mistake

costs

show examples

. Hong Kong is a robust example of

this

scenario, we are said to be a cosmopolitan city and yet, the ideology of “renting a house equals

Change preposition

apply

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repaying

mortgage

Add an article

the mortgage

show examples

for the owner” has been rooted in our

mind

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minds

show examples

. Despite the soaring flat price which

make

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makes

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it impossible for young couples to buy their own flat, parents are always more than willing to give or borrow them the capital needed to achieve the goal.

As a result

this

vigorous cycle loops all over again since Chinese tradition values “having a shelter”. It is clear that when getting a flat is all one’s concern, they will be under gigantic pressure and

this

is detrimental to a person’s or the society’s health and development.

For example

, it is not uncommon to hear

Japanese

Correct article usage

the Japanese

show examples

saying they are repaying the mortgage that

his

Correct pronoun usage

their

show examples

grandparents or parents borrowed. Meanwhile, Japan’s suicide rate

always

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is always

show examples

maintains

Wrong verb form

maintained

show examples

at a high level and researches reveal the reasons behind include not being happy at work and

feel

Wrong verb form

feeling

show examples

financially stressed, to list just a few. We are all born to be free and ambitious. Buying a flat,

however

, create

indescribable

Add an article

an indescribable

show examples

burden to people who are suffering from

absurd

Add an article

the absurd

an absurd

show examples

home price that limits the possibilities that we are supposed to be able to explore. Some may believe that having

the

Change the word

their

show examples

own place can keep people motivated and determined at work or

Change the verb form

apply

show examples

make a big fortune.

Nonetheless

, I doubt if all people will be delighted once they own the house. Maybe starting up

busines

Correct your spelling

business

brings more joy to them? Maybe owning a dream car is more satisfying than owning a house? To me, affording a flat is killing all these opportunities. To conclude, I find culture does most of the influences of the

believe

Replace the word

belief

show examples

that owning is better than renting and

this

is creating too much burden, either

finally

or mentally, to oneself.

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

371 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

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In some countries owning a home rather than renting one is considered very important. Why might this be the case? Is this a positive or negative development?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Some people believe that nowadays we have too many choices. To what extend do you agree or disgree with this stagement.

In many countries around the world, rural people are moving to cities, so the population in the countryside is decreasing. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to cooperate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones. Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development

Living in country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems to what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?