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Writing Samples /
Band 6

In a number of countries, some people think it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

#countries #people #sums #money #railway #lines #trains #cities #transport
In many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
, few individuals think that
money
 should be invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 new
railway
 networks for fast trains between cities. Whereas, others believe that
money
 should be spent
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 previous
transport
 to make it better.
However
, in my opinion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should invest in
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
railway
 line. In
this
 essay both
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
views are discussed below. To start with, in my view,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend their
money
 on new fast trains. One of the main reason is, it
take
Change the verb form
takes
show examples
 less time for
people
 to travel from one place to another.
For example
, in Japan the bullet train can cover 350 kilometres in one hour, it is easy and convenient to travel within less time.
In addition
,
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
railway
 network between two cities is
also
 beneficial and developing
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
economically. In
other word
Change the wording
another word
other words
show examples
, fast root can
also
 improve the
transport
 of goods in very less budget.
Hence
, cities can develop faster when they connect
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 fast
railway
 networks.
On the other hand
, many
people
 think opposite that
money
 should be invested
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 existing
transport
 to modify and add some extra
facilities
.
For instance
, investing
money
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
previous
Correct article usage
the previous
show examples
railway
 network can save the budget and
remaining
Correct article usage
the remaining
show examples
money
 should spend on different things.
Moreover
, due to
invest
Change the verb form
investing
show examples
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 other
facilities
 like electric
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 and sewer
line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 should
also
 improve the convenience of the passengers. To continue with,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should spend
money
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 older
people
 and their accommodation on
railway
 stations for easy travelling.
As a result
, spending
money
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 different
facilities
 and
existed
Wrong verb form
existing
show examples
transport
 can
Correct your spelling
helpful
helpfull
Add a missing verb
be helpfull
show examples
 in many
way
Change to a plural noun
ways
show examples
 for
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
people
. To conclude, in my opinion,
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 should invest their
money
 in
new
Correct article usage
a new
show examples
railway
 network to
fulfill
Change the spelling
fulfil
show examples
 the
passengers
Change noun form
passenger's
passengers'
show examples
facilities
instead
 of improving existing
transport
.
Submitted by ozajay9988 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • infrastructure
  • efficient
  • congestion
  • sustainable
  • environmentally friendly
  • connectivity
  • economic growth
  • public transportation
What to do next:
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