IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some young people are leaving the countryside to live in cities and towns, leaving only old people in the countryside Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

#people #countryside #cities #towns #development
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Few youth public is going away the nation edge to survive in civic and metropolitans, parting just aged humans in the state part. Everyone wants to have a standard
life
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
,especially
show examples
 the youth generations
that is
Linking Words
 not possible in the village.
However
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, venerable were left in urban.
This
Linking Words
 essay will discuss some of the good and bad evolutions of the above statement.
Firstly
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, the youngsters who came in burgh they got
a better
Correct the article-noun agreement
a better life style
better life styles
show examples
Use synonyms
life styles
Correct your spelling
lifestyles
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 comparatively to the hamlet. Here, many facilities were available in
Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
 areas
such
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 as job opportunities that
leads
Change the verb form
lead
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 to gain
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
more income.
Also
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, we have a chance to get
latest
Correct article usage
the latest
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 things which are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
totally newly discovered with the help
these
Change preposition
of these
show examples
 gadgets our
life
Use synonyms
 will be becomes so, easier and
comfortable
Correct quantifier usage
more comfortable
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. Whatever,
government
Add an article
the government
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 provides resources of
a hospitals
Correct the article-noun agreement
hospitals
a hospital
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, transportation, good education sectors. If anyone fell sick or falls in an accident they can easily
taken
Change the verb form
be taken
show examples
 to the health institution by bus, car that save the
life
Use synonyms
 of
injured
Add an article
an injured
the injured
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 person. At
last
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, study plays vital
roles
Fix the agreement mistake
role
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 to achieve anyone aims.
Secondly
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, it has
also
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deny
Change the verb form
denied
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 the person who
were
Change the verb form
was
show examples
 in megalopolis they
donot
Correct your spelling
do not
don't
 know what was the situation of
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
that
humna
Correct your spelling
human
 beings who spend their existence in
bourg
Change the capitalization
Bourg
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. They felt a lot of
troubles
Fix the agreement mistake
trouble
show examples
. So they should
also
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focused
Change the verb form
focus
be focused
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in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their place. By
this
Linking Words
Fix the agreement mistake
way
show examples
ways
Add a comma
,ways
show examples
rowlent
Correct your spelling
rowling
 gets back day by day no establishments of new things. Due o
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
 many problems were faced by them.
Untill
Correct your spelling
Until
, thinking about villages it is impossible to balance these all. If
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
any one
Correct your spelling
anyone
show examples
 gets a serious diseases lack
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
health services they lost their
life
Use synonyms
 because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 they can not
got
Change the verb form
get
show examples
 a chance for treatment. In conclusion, it is necessary to focus on
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
both sides that
leads
Change the verb form
lead
show examples
 best for
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
both.
Submitted by Aditya Raj on

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • migration
  • economic opportunities
  • urban areas
  • rural industries
  • cultural heritage
  • overpopulation
  • infrastructure
  • healthcare facilities
  • educational institutions
  • neglect
  • workforce
  • traditional cultures
  • customs
  • pollution
  • support systems
What to do next:
Look at other essays: