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Band 5

Despite greater access to school education, many adults today still cannot read or write. How does this affect them in life? What can government do to help them?

#access #school #education #adults #affect #life #government
In globalization that
be
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
choices
Fix the agreement mistake
choice
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 to access knowledge. Many have an idea that the grown-up groups cannot have enough reading and writing
skills
. In
this
 essay, not only the detrimental sides of
this
 issue but
also
 governments’ solutions will be examined.
To begin
 with, it is undeniable that there are several negative aspects of lacking reading and writing abilities. First and foremost, people might lose a good career opportunity.
For instance
, a salaryman understands only simple vocabulary and
be
Verb problem
finds it
show examples
 hard to complete formal letters.
Then
, he could not be matched with qualifications that provide high income.
As a result
, he might face a financial crisis in case of his current job
give
Correct subject-verb agreement
gives
show examples
 him a salary
that is
 lower than the average minimum wage in his country.
Lastly
, the population might get lost effortlessly.
For example
, a retired man travels upcountry alone
by
Change preposition
in
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 his private car.
Following
this
, he
could
Verb problem
was
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 not familiar with a tourist attraction and could not understand a
map
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map's
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 direction.
As a consequence
, he would get lost and hard to request
helps
Correct subject-verb agreement
help
show examples
 from others in the case of a remote area.
On the other hand
, governments will give their citizens a hand in
this
 issue.
Firstly
, adding education channels
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the television programme.
This
 is because people will usually enjoy their
relaxationS
Correct your spelling
relaxation
 on it.
Consequently
, citizens will better understand and be close to using these
skills
.
Finally
, promoting the benefits of knowledge and
positive
Correct article usage
the positive
show examples
 sides of reading and writing
skills
. The reason for
this
 is that populations will be aware of the importance and try to be good at reading and writing
skills
. In conclusion,
although
 there are a host of drawbacks
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 lacking these
skills
. I am of
an
Correct article usage
the
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 opinion that the governments’ responses outweigh them.
Submitted by orani.ch on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence and cohesion, try using linking phrases more frequently between sentences and paragraphs. This will help your writing flow better and make your arguments easier to follow.
task achievement
In order to achieve a higher score for task response, consider expanding on some of your points with more detailed examples. This will also help strengthen your arguments and make your essay more convincing.
task achievement
Try to vary your vocabulary and sentence structures to prevent repetition and maintain the reader's interest. This will also demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
coherence cohesion
Your essay has a clear introduction and conclusion, which helps provide a logical structure to your writing.
task achievement
You have effectively outlined both the impacts of illiteracy on individuals and the potential government solutions.
task achievement
The essay addresses the task prompt thoroughly and presents a well-rounded discussion. It covers both the negative effects and possible solutions.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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