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Band 5.5

Many people love driving their own cars others think that public transport is the only sensible way to travel around the city. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #love #cars #transport #travel #city
Most
people
 who own a
car
 like the freedom of driving and having the comfortability of their
car
. The other part of
people
 who don't agree with
this
 statement
however
Add the comma(s)
,however
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 prefer public
transport
 as their form of transportation. In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
people
 should be encouraged to use public
transport
 as it is
overally
Correct your spelling
overall
 good for the environment and causes less traffic.
Firstly
 using public
transport
 minimizes the amount of gas each
car
 releases
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 the atmosphere. Gases are basically carbon dioxide so when they are released from the cars they go up in the ozon surface of the earth causing
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
holes. The
ozon
Correct your spelling
ozone
 surface is a protective shield around
earth
Add an article
the earth
show examples
 that protects it from the outside factors, in
this
case
Add the comma(s)
,case
show examples
 sun damage. The holes caused by gases result in the sun rays
to come
Change the verb form
coming
show examples
 raw in
the earths atmosphere
Change to a genitive case
the earth's atmosphere
the atmosphere of the earth
show examples
 which are harmful
for
Change the preposition
to
show examples
 the human skin but
also
 cause global warming since once they come in,
its
Correct your spelling
it's
show examples
 harder for them to escape.
In
addition
Add a comma
,addition
show examples
 using public
transport
 lessens the
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of cars used so less amount of gas.
Secondly
Add a comma
,Secondly
show examples
 public
transport
 doesn't cause as much traffic as each person having their own
car
 which means
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 accidents. That's because a bus
for example
 holds way more
people
 than a
car
 and is only the size of two of them.
Thirdly
 if you had fun that night driving drunk
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
in
Correct your spelling
is
show examples
 not a good idea.
Lastly
Add a comma
,Lastly
show examples
 public
transport
 is far cheaper than paying for gas every 3 days. School buses
for example
 have a 10 dollar
montly
Correct your spelling
monthly
only
 card which you can use whenever you want. In conclusion, public
transport
 is better for a clean environment with
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 accidents and traffic and more money in your pockets.
Submitted by agjollywood on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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