IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

The internet allows us to stay connected with each other no matter where we are . On the other hand , it also isolates us and encourages people not to socialise. To what extend do you agree or disagree with these statements? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

#internet #matter #hand #people #socialise #statements
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The 21st century is undoubtedly the age of
technology
Use synonyms
. The
internet
Use synonyms
 was invented so that people can share
information
Use synonyms
 and interact with
other
Correct pronoun usage
others
show examples
. We make video calls no matter the distance. We cannot imagine our lives without the
internet
Use synonyms
 and the phone. We are connected to them independently of ourselves. We get the
information
Use synonyms
 we need from the
internet
Use synonyms
, communicate with our
friends
Use synonyms
. The
internet
Use synonyms
 is a wonderful tool that helps us to keep in touch anywhere in the world.
However
Linking Words
, some websites can become an obsession and may encourage people to stay at home
instead
Linking Words
 of going out to see their
friends
Use synonyms
. I think, the word "tool" is important here. In my view, it shows how impersonal
this
Linking Words
 contact is. Nowadays, almost everyone has their smartphone, from the young to the old, finding attractions from the entertaining applications. Many users, especially youngsters, are spending too much time browsing the webs, playing games, chatting with virtual
friends
Use synonyms
, sticking with their
gadget
Fix the agreement mistake
gadgets
show examples
 for hours.b
As a result
Linking Words
, less time they can spend for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
eye to eye contact with the other family members and real
friends
Use synonyms
. Not only be addicted to
information
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 ,but they
also
Linking Words
 lose many
essenctial
Correct your spelling
essential
 social skills, eventually face health problems related to
eyes
Correct article usage
the eyes
show examples
.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
thisDespite
show examples
, some people claim that technological advancement and use of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
Use synonyms
technology
Use synonyms
 have isolated us from society. I do not agree that the
internet
Use synonyms
 has isolated us. Vice-verse - it has given us unparalleled freedom in communication and socializing that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human has never witnessed before. In conclusion,
technology
Use synonyms
 allows us to spread
information
Use synonyms
 to each other quickly and more efficiently than ever. The
internet
Use synonyms
 is a great invention and essential part of our lives in recent years, it is used in jobs and education. The
internet
Use synonyms
 is not harmful, and it is misuse can be harmful.
Submitted by Weallneedit9 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: