IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of younge adults, compared with the number of older people.

#time #population #countries #younge #adults #people
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Undeniabely
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Undeniably
, in
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today's
todays
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today's
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 world, the most significant
propotion
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proportion
 of some
countries
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 consist of
younge
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young
 adults compared whit the number of older. Each of these groups
have
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has
show examples
 both advantages and disadvantages. In fact, in my point of view, younger
generations
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 have more positive aspects for their
countries
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 rather than older
generations
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.
To begin
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 with,
youth
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the youth
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 generation
have
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has
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 so much power and energy which it relates to their age and body potential
,
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apply
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 can be more constructor than older
generations
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.
In other words
Linking Words
, younger
people
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 have more creativity and knowledge to solve the problems and help to improve the country and
also
Linking Words
 they can adapt
theirself
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themselves
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 with
new
Add an article
the new
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 modern world with different technologies. While the education process for young
people
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 can cost too much for governments but it
worth
Add a missing verb
is worth
show examples
 it. Whereas some
countries
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Correct your spelling
in
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un
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in
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 Europe
such
Linking Words
 as Italia or Spain, make some study or work conditions to attract young
people
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.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, it is true that older
generations
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didnt
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didn't
 have that
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
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 abilities to work compared to a young person but they were
exprienced
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experienced
 in
lot's
Change noun form
lots
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 of fields to teach others. Especially in some mechanical subjects, younger
generations
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 should use their knowledge and
exprience
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experience
expense
.
However
Linking Words
, they cost governments dearly. Costs including insurance and pension
is
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are
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neccessary
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necessary
 for older
people
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 that governments need to consider. In conclusion, with all the costs and problems which
causes
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
 by younger
people
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 for a
country
Add a comma
,country
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 it is really
neccessary
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necessary
 to raise youth to help for improvements and
counstructions
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construction
constructions
 of a country so in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
 it is a good point for
countries
Use synonyms
that
Correct word choice
where
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 most of their population is young and useful.
Submitted by sara.salimi77a on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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