IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people believe that it is wrong to keep animals in zoos, while others think that zoos are important for education and conservation. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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As far as I remember, the
zoo
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 is the most enjoyful place to go while I was a kid. Many arguments arise regarding the functions of a
zoo
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. Let us discuss.
First
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 and foremost, a
zoo
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 of course limits the animal's freedom.
This
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 factor is rather really clear. The high wall needs to be built on, meanwhile, special electrical fences need to be constructed in order to ensure the visitor's safety. We are not sure how far
this
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 will lead to their stress, the animals.
For example
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, in certain African countries, their zoos are freely open, the safari concept. Less stressful to the wilds indeed. More close to nature. When we go there, we could see the zebras, giraffes and lions are freely running around. The visitors will be kept inside the bus or a truck.
Further
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, there are no interactions among other species. In a
zoo
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, different types of animals are seldomly being placed together. Usually, they are put apart.
On the other hand
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, no one could deny that
zoo
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 is a good place for education.
For example
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, let us recall our childhood life. I managed to remember various birds' names after coming back from the
zoo
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. Direct visualisation of learning is really impactable. Far more important is the ultimate function of the
zoo
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 as a
conservation
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 centre. In Malaysia
for instance
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, we have a
conservation
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 centre for elephants, turtles and ox species. Without these
conservation
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 centres, these animals could be extinct.
Therefore
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, the
zoo
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 has a lot of value to offer. From its education's perspectives to its
conservation
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's roles. Good budget allocations and management will keep the
zoo
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 remains sustainable for a country.

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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