IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Modern technology now allows rapid and uncontrolled access to and exchange of information. Far from being beneficial, this is a danger to our societies. To what extent do you agree or disagree ?

#technology #access #exchange #information #danger #societies
Advanced telecommunication permits to gain access in the transition of data. People feel that
this
 is a risk to our society. I completely disagree with the statement because data makes people
informative
Replace the word
informed
show examples
 and without a spread of medical advice necessary action cannot be taken.
Firstly
, spreading knowledge
make
Correct subject-verb agreement
makes
show examples
people more informed and educated.
In addition
, if the
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
 of the countries are well informed
with
Change preposition
about
show examples
current
Correct article usage
the current
show examples
 happenings across the geographies
then
 it will help the individual to decide to travel
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 one destination or not.
For instance
, if the individual wants to travel to Ukraine in the current times because of the war threat it is not a fair decision. Without proper ,
information
 it is difficult to make
such
 choices.
Secondly
, in the medical industry lot of intelligence
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 transferred widely. To
further
 illustrate
this
 idea, a lot of medical symptoms are examined in different countries and report is transferred
on
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the study.
This
 makes the country save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 making an analysis of the symptoms.
For example
, medicine for Malaria was invented by Great Britain but it was widely used across the globe. Without appropriate
information
 on the
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
medicine it is difficult to treat patients. To summarize, proper
information
 is wisdom, I would say there is no associated risk in transferring
information
 other than holding the secret. Even though the risk is associated it is necessary and mandatory to spread the
information
 to be more beneficial.
Submitted by Anirudhh007 on

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coherence cohesion
Improve the overall structure of the essay to ensure logical flow and coherence.
task achievement
Provide a more complete and comprehensive response to the task, ensuring that all aspects of the prompt are addressed.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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