IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people think that new technology always improve the lives of workers. Other people believe that it results in disadvantages for workers. Discuss both opinions and give your own opinion

#people #technology #lives #workers #results
It is argued that in these recent times, some people think that the new advancement of
technology
 has improved significantly in the lives of
employees
.
However
, other people have strong
arguements
Correct your spelling
arguments
 against
this
 as it can be a disadvantage for certain
workers
, especially those older
employees
 who are not technical
savy
Correct your spelling
savvy
. In my opinion, I am in favour that
technology
 has made lives easier for modern
workers
 as compared to 60 decades ago. In
this
 essay, I will explain both views regarding
this
 topic.
To begin
 with, one of the main advantages of using
technology
 at workplaces is that, it creates a fast and efficient workflow and processes in the working sector.
As a result
,
workers
 are able to work more efficiently and conveniently and provide better service to consumers.
For instance
, during
this
 COVID-19 pandemic outbreak,
Government
Correct article usage
the Government
show examples
 came out with device interventions
such
 as SafeEntry gateway and TraceTogether application in many places
such
 as hospitals and polyclinics to allow ease of tracking for vaccination statuses and fast entry to the specific locations. On the flip side,
technology
 may be a disadvantage for some
workers
, especially those older
employees
 due to the fact that they are not technical
savy
Correct your spelling
savvy
.
This
 requires them to take
longer
Correct article usage
a longer
show examples
 time to learn the steps and procedures of using these new technologies.
As a result
, these
employees
 may feel left behind and may not be
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good team
player
Fix the agreement mistake
players
show examples
 at work due to the lack of
technology
 skills. In conclusion, I believe
technology
 has made a huge impact in improving the lives of
workers
 as it creates an efficient workflow.
However
,
workers
 who are not technical
savy
Correct your spelling
savvy
 may fall behind.
Therefore
, if
government
Add an article
the government
show examples
 could
intervent
Correct your spelling
intervene
technologies
Change preposition
in technologies
show examples
 with easier steps and procedures in the future, it would be easier for those who are not technical
savy
Correct your spelling
savvy
.
Submitted by yanizainal5 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: