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Writing Samples
Band 6

the charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.

the charts below give information on the ages of the populations of Yemen and Italy in 2000 and projections for 2050.
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The pie chart shows the statistical percentage of the different ranges of ages in 2002 and predicts the changes in 2050 in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy. In 2002, 50.1% of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 0~14 were the largest population in
Yemen
Use synonyms
,
whereas
Linking Words
 14.3% of
people
Use synonyms
 aged 0~14 were the smallest in Italy. The age of 15~59 took 46.3% and 61.6% in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy.
However
Linking Words
, over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
 were in little position in both countries. Forecast five decades later, over 60
years
Use synonyms
 old
people
Use synonyms
 will be tripled in size in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy. The percentage rise from 46.3 to 57.3
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 15~59
years
Use synonyms
 old in
Yemen
Use synonyms
.
In contrast
Linking Words
, in Italy, the population of 15~59
years
Use synonyms
 old will dwindle to 46.2%.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in
Yemen
Use synonyms
 and Italy, the age of 0~14 will increase to 5.7% and 11.5%.
To sum up
Linking Words
, the birth rate is more important in the two countries.
Also
Linking Words
, the
people
Use synonyms
 aged
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
15~59
that
Correct word choice
who
show examples
working
Wrong verb form
work
show examples
 to maintain the stability of the national economy always be the prodigious
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
population.

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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words yemen, people, years with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • age demographics
  • age structure
  • population distribution
  • youthful population
  • ageing population
  • life expectancy
  • birth rate
  • demographic shift
  • population projection
  • median age
  • dependents
  • working-age population
  • elderly dependents
  • geriatric
  • fertility rate
  • migration
  • demographic trends
  • baby boomers
  • demographic dividend
  • population pyramid
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