IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

When new towns are planned, it is more important to build more public parks or sports facilities than shopping centers for people to spend their free time. To what extent you agree or disagree?

#towns #parks #sports #facilities #centers #people #time
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Nowadays many governments of the nation are planning for new towns. Some
people
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 believe that constructing more
parks
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 and
sports
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 facilities will be more efficient than the shopping centre. I completely agree with the statement. Because
,
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apply
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 outdoor amenities will enhance the public health and makes the public to relax than having shopping mall.
Firstly
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, in the current condition because of pandemics more and more
people
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 are having a sedentary lifestyle because of
this
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 situation regime should encourage their citizens to have some physical activities by building more
sports
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 clubs and public
parks
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.
In addition
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,
this
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 makes
people
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 come out of the home and have some fresh air in
such
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 allocated areas.
For instance
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, the government in North America encourages
people
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 to burn some calories by constructing more
sports
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 centres nearby bus stands.
This
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 makes
people
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 take care of their own health.
Secondly
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, in the fast-paced ,environment it is necessary to relax by spending some quality time in public amenities
such
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 as government built gymnasiums or
sports
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 clubs. To brief
this
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 point,
Parks
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 and
sports
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 clubs will help individuals to get some peace of mind by doing yoga, or some physical workout.
For example
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, a lot of countries are building
parks
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 on the beach to ensure have a peaceful environment.
This
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 helps
people
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 to get rid of depression. Concluding, building
parks
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 and
sports
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 destinations will help more
people
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 to get benefits in different ways by encouraging them to take care of their health and stay calm in the different scenarios by relaxing themselves. So government should ensure by building enough public spots to carry out
such
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 activities
Submitted by Anirudhh007 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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