Many people believe that the government should spend money on the care of the elderly. Others think that this money should be spent on the education of young people. Discuss both and give your opinion.

#people #government #money #care #education

Certain individuals suggest the authorities need to fund the organisations which support and take care of the older people meanwhile there is an opinion that the finance better to be used for teaching youngsters. Undoubtedly, it is a controversial topic but I am inclined to agree with the latter. So, some points of view will be considered below. Needless to say, it is important old people could live a fulfilled and satisfying life. Fortunately, adults in Europe start travelling more once they have retired. To illustrate, the survey shows that 85% of Europe retired people can afford to visit different countries.

Moreover

, being pensioners they can travel more than their children of full age.

Hence

, it leads to the conclusion that the older generation in some countries are financially supported which is why there is no need to spend extra money on

this

issue. Clearly, education is the future of the younger generation. It is not a secret that well-educated individuals benefit the economy a lot.

That is

why it is crucial the authority invest money in different facilities. According to a study, the better a person is educated, the greater his or her contribution to society. So, in my opinion, spending money on enlightening of young adults the government ensures constant developing of a country and the profit to the government. To conclude, the proper authorities definitely must take notice of the level of life of the older generation.

However

, it is essential to encourage youngsters to study because it will significantly improve the economy worldwide.

Submitted by Lera93.smol on Sat Feb 26 2022

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

257 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.5

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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