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Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Some young people believe it’s best to move out of their hometowns when they become adults, while others wish to live in their hometowns their whole lives. Discuss both sides and give your opinion.

#people #it’s #move #hometowns #adults #lives
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Migration can happen at any stage of life. Some young individuals believe that moving out of their birthplace is better for their career growth and better lifestyle. Whereas, others prefer to live their whole life in their hometown due to the emotional attachment with it. In
this
 essay, I will discuss the merits and demerits of
this
 phenomenon and shed light on my view. On the one hand, the reason why individuals think that staying at the birthplace is the best place to live.
Firstly
, proximity to the family is the factor that prevents adolescents to move out. According to recent research in the university of the UK, more than 50% of South-Asian juveniles live in a close-knitted family due to their emotional attachment with them and with the community where they grew up.
Therefore
, they believed that its time to retribute and serve the community for the betterment of upcoming generations.
On the other hand
, there are those who have the opposite view, including myself, when it comes to migration to developing countries,
this
 step opens doors to the new world and brings the opportunity for career growth and a better lifestyle.
for instance
, a recent study shows that in China 80% of graduate students opt for an international degree in Canada and wish to settle over there.
In addition
 to
this
, new countries and cities are opportunities to learn about different cultures and traditions which will expand their horizon and wealth of knowledge. In conclusion,
although
 staying at the birthplace and serving the community have a significant advantage for the upcoming generation, I believe that individuals should better focus on their
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.
Submitted by sameershamim on

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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