IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

some people think that it is fine for professional sportsmen and sportswomen to misbehave on or off the field, as long as they are playing well. Do you agree or disagree with this statement.

#people #sportsmen #sportswomen #misbehave #field
Attitude is important and critical as humans in a society where we are doing some interaction without what is our status. In my opinion, I disagree about the statement that considers to fine for misbehaving of sportsmen and women.
However
, some people's opinions choose that allows the action of them. In the following sentences, I am describing two sides of the
prespective
Correct your spelling
perspective
respective
.
To begin
 with, sportsmen and women are part of society,
although
 they are professional players for each game they must maintain their behaviours as they are role models for common people or they are influencers for the public.
Moreover
, their actions are watched by the public eye to do some positive effects on their society.
For instance
, South Korea's players keep maintaining their behaviours as the public specification of the nation is respect for each other and it means all of the problems are criminal actions for
a public figures
Correct the article-noun agreement
public figures
a public figure
show examples
.
Secondly
, if they always maintain
their
Replace the word
they're
they are
show examples
 behaves, they will have a job in entertainment as models to
Change the verb form
speak
show examples
be spoke
Correct your spelling
bespoke
show examples
person
Fix the agreement mistake
persons
show examples
 of some brands.
For example
, the tennis player from the UK, Ema Recannu who was the winner of the US open competition was endorsed by Dior to be the brand's model for many years.
In contrast
, we can find in some countries sporters easily to do some problem as individualistic of them are strong.

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • misbehave
  • professional sportsmen
  • role model
  • public figures
  • influence
  • performance
  • moral standards
  • media scrutiny
  • endorsements
  • personal brand
  • consistency
  • punishment
  • redemption
  • integrity
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