these days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games instead of sports. Why? It is a positive or negative development?

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There is an ongoing debate regarding whether numerous children spending time on computer games

instead

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of sports leads to positive or negative development. Some people believe that playing digital games is beneficial for kids.

While

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others argue that fewer physical activities may have negative consequences.

Therefore

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, before giving my opinion. I would like to discuss both perspectives. Examining the former opinion, the primary argument supporters would put forward is that digital entertainment has certain benefits if played in moderation .

This

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is because some virtual games improve problem-solving skills, creativity, and reflexes.

In addition

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, proponents

also

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believe that young people can choose it as a future career path. The reason is that for some talented young bodies, online gaming can open up career opportunities

such

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as becoming professional gamers, streamers or game developers.

On the contrary

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, those in favour of the latter option have their own arguments.

To begin

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with, they claim that spending too much time on gaming content can lead to health problems.

This

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is because there has been a growing number of children suffering from short- sightedness and obesity is becoming increasingly common among younger people.

Moreover

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, youngsters who spend less time playing sports may have fewer opportunities to develop social skills, teamwork and communication abilities.

To conclude

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, there are convincing arguments both for and against the topic.

However

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, gaming has some advantages. I personally believe that

this

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trend is negative

overall

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because it harms children’s physical and social development.

Additionally

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, regularly participating in outdoor activities

also

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helps the younger generation reduce stress after studying and build a healthier lifestyle

quynhtranhbh

May 13, 2026

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task response

Answer both parts more directly. Say clearly why children choose games, and say clearly if this is positive or negative.

task response

Add one or two clear real-life examples to support your ideas.

task response

Your main ideas are good, but some parts are a bit general. Explain them a little more.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay has a clear start, body, and end. Keep this shape.

coherence and cohesion

Use linking words carefully. Some full stops should be commas or joined ideas.

coherence and cohesion

Make each paragraph focus on one main point and develop it fully.

task response

You answered the topic and gave your opinion in the end.

task response

You included both sides before your final view.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay is easy to follow with clear paragraphs.

coherence and cohesion

The introduction and conclusion are both present.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

263 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

allure
captivate
supervise
accessible
scarcity
safer alternative
peer pressure
educational tools
cognitive skills
implications
obesity
poor posture
hand-eye coordination
problem-solving abilities

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these days, a great number of children prefer spending time on computer games instead of sports. Why? It is a positive or negative development?

Many university students want to learn about different subjects in addition to their main subjects. Others feel it is more important to give all their time and attention to studying for their qualification.

Some people say that the government should spend more money taking care of elderly people while others think that government spending should be spent more on the education of young people. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Nowadays e-books have become widely spread. Some people claim that e-books are bound to oust conventional ones, while others believe that traditional printed books will never be a thing of the past. Discuss both views and express your opinion.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. [545]