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Band 5

Governments should make people responsible for looking after their own local environment. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#governments #people #environment
The protection of local environments is an obligation for all society. while some
people
 believe that the
government
 should educate their
people
 to take
care
 of their local
habitat
. I positively on
this
 idea and by
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will elaborate with some reasons of the importance of
people
 intervention in maintaining the
environment
.
first
 of all, protection of the
environment
 is a crucial task for everyone. in many locations, the wealth of
habitat
 is depend on how the local society protects and take
care
 of them. for
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instant, the use of chemical matter and plastic bags in a large amount would contaminate the sand and
also
 could reduce the quality of water.
Thus
, it could make them will be less productive and harmful to the living being.
This
 is crucial because the quality of sand and water is vital and closely related to the applied health of populations.
In addition
 to that, the
government
 should regulate their
people
 in how they interact and take
care
 of their
environment
 in their daily activities. By imposing
this
 regulation,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
tends to reduce or could save the
government
's money that has been allocated for maintaining the whole
habitat
 annually.
Moreover
,
this
 saving money could be allocated to fund ion other important sectors
such
 as health, defence and food for the poor. another example
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 is the
government
 could give a price for the society that successfully implemented the regulation in taking
care
 of their
environment
. Overall, the
citizen
Replace the word
city
show examples
 has an obligation to maintain their surrounding to create a healthy and wealthy
habitat
.
in addition
 to that, the governments should educate their
people
 to do that.
Submitted by anwarachmad426 on

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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